SHIPUCHIN. We can't do anything for you, Mrs. Merchutkina. You must
understand that your husband, so far as I can gather, was in the employ
of the Army Medical Department, while this is a private, commercial
concern, a bank. Don't you understand that?

MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency, I can produce a doctor's certificate of my
husband's illness. Here it is, just look at it....

SHIPUCHIN. [Irritated] That's all right; I quite believe you, but it's
not our business. [Behind the scene, TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA'S laughter is
heard, then a man's. SHIPUCHIN glances at the door] She's disturbing
the employees. [To MERCHUTKINA] It's strange and it's even silly. Surely
your husband knows where you ought to apply?

MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency, I don't let him know anything. He just
cried out: "It isn't your business! Get out of this!" And...

SHIPUCHIN. Madam, I repeat, your husband was in the employ of the Army
Medical Department, and this is a bank, a private, commercial concern.

MERCHUTKINA. Yes, yes, yes.... I understand, my dear. In that case, your
excellency, just order them to pay me 15 roubles! I don't mind taking
that to be going on with.

SHIPUCHIN. [Sighs] Ouf!

KHIRIN. Andrey Andreyevitch, I'll never finish the report at this rate!

SHIPUCHIN. One moment. [To MERCHUTKINA] I can't get any sense out of
you. But do understand that your taking this business here is as absurd
as if you took a divorce petition to a chemist's or into a gold assay
office. [Knock at the door. The voice of TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA is heard,
"Can I come in, Andrey?" SHIPUCHIN shouts] Just wait one minute, dear!
[To MERCHUTKINA] What has it got to do with us if you haven't been paid?
As it happens, madam, this is an anniversary to-day, we're busy... and
somebody may be coming here at any moment.... Excuse me....

MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency, have pity on me, an orphan! I'm a weak,
defenceless woman.... I'm tired to death.... I'm having trouble with my
lodgers, and on account of my husband, and I've got the house to look
after, and my son-in-law is out of work....

SHIPUCHIN. Mrs. Merchutkina, I... No, excuse me, I can't talk to you! My
head's even in a whirl.... You are disturbing us and making us waste
our time. [Sighs, aside] What a business, as my name's Shipuchin!
[To KHIRIN] Kusma Nicolaievitch, will you please explain to Mrs.
Merchutkina. [Waves his hand and goes out into public department.]

KHIRIN. [Approaching MERCHUTKINA, angrily] What