y and haphazard as it
could well be, but nevertheless I stood in great fear of a dissolution of
my gray matter. Once it seemed to me that my brain was loose in my cranium
and I imagined I could hear it rattling around. I went at midnight to
consult a physician in regard to this phenomenal condition. After I had
described my symptoms, the doctor smiled rather more expansively than was
to my liking and said:--

"You may have a little post-nasal catarrh, but I think it is only a
neurosis."

I thought to myself that if it was "only" a neurosis it was one with great
possibilities. The fact that collapses are frequent among brain-workers
was not easily dismissed from my mind. I feared insanity and began to
picture how I would disport myself in a madhouse. It seemed that I could
not carry out the medical advice to take vigorous exercise, as it gave me
palpitation and made me fear that my heart would go out of business.

I concluded that the best thing I could do was to take up some fad to
relieve my overworked (?) brain and radiate some of my pent-up energy. I
had read of the fads of great men, but I could not decide after which one
to pattern. Nero was a great fiddler and went up and down Greece,
challenging all the crack violinists to a contest; the king of Macedonia
spent his time in making lanterns; Hercalatius, king of Parthia, was an
expert mole-catcher and spent much of his time in that business; Biantes
of Lydia was the best hand in the country at filing needles;
Theophylact--whom nobody but a bookworm ever heard of--bred fine horses
and fed them the richest dates, grapes and figs steeped in wines; an
ex-president of modern times was fond of fishing and spent much time in
piscatorial pursuits. None of these struck me just right, so I thought I
would be obliged to make a selection of my own. First I tried amateur
photography, but this soon grew monotonous and I gave it up. Next I got a
cornet, but I soon found that it required more wind than I could
conveniently spare. I then tried homing pigeons, but before I had scarcely
given the little aerial messengers a fair test I had thought of a dozen
other things that seemed preferable. Everything proved alike tiresome and
tedious. However, I found that in chasing diversions I had forgotten all
about my imagined infirmities. So perhaps, after all, the end accomplished
justified the means employed to secure it.

CHAPTER V.

TRIES TO FIND AN OCCUPATION CONDUCIVE TO HE