roducts to sell; or if one happened to be in the market
as a buyer he would, of course, get these things cheap. Their rules seemed
to effect a compromise by working both ways. Out of all these conflicting
and chaotic ideas I knew that I would be unable to decide upon any set of
issues and stay with them a fortnight. So, as I view the matter now, I
think I displayed unusual strength of character in staying out of
politics.

The same puzzling situation confronted me in regard to matters of the
church. There were those who were very firm in the conviction that
immersion was the only true way of being introduced into the church;
others thought pouring was good enough; while still others considered
sprinkling all that was essential to pass the portals. Some believed in
infantile baptism, while a few good, religious people that I chanced to
know did not deem any kind of water-rite at any time in life absolutely
necessary. A certain few clung to fore-ordination which, if true, would
preclude the need of most people making any efforts along that line. Some
of the churches denounced dancing and card-playing in no unmeaning terms,
while others gave holy sanction to card-parties and charity balls. Some
churches were bound down by certain rigid rules which they called creeds;
others were very much opposed to these. For every belief there was an
"anti."

Under such conditions as these it was a big undertaking to try to sift the
wheat from a mountain of chaff and become enthusiastic in one's devotion
to State and Church. Why should there be such a state of chaos on matters
of the most vital importance? Is human nature not sincere? Or is it simply
erratic?

For the present I tried to content myself with the study of subjects that
would in a small way muddle the world in return for the muddling the world
had given me. I pursued the investigation of such things as neoplatonism,
psychic phenomena, platonic friendship, and so forth. After coaching
myself up a little on such topics as these, I could appear in the most
erudite company and pose as an authority on the same. Ah! authority, how
many errors are committed in thy name!

For several months I busied myself in one way and another, and my
infirmities seemed to have given me a respite. Every symptom had for a
while been in abeyance, but now they began to assert themselves with
renewed activity. The reader will perhaps wonder what new restorative
agencies I could now summon to my ai