per thousand words? I would write a play and do
something worth while. Just as I had the skeleton of the play well formed
and a good start made on it, I came into the possession of a few thousand
dollars by the death of an uncle in California. I at once invested the
money in a farm--the most sensible thing I ever did. Now I thought that I
would move to the country and live the life of a retired country
gentleman. The seclusion of rural life would better enable me to put vim
and inspiration into my literary efforts. But I found that the farm was
too lonesome, with only hired help about me, so I secured a tenant and
hied back to my city quarters.

These are only a few of my undertakings. Everything was "for a short
time." This phrase occurs monotonously often, a fact of which I am not
unaware, but I don't know how to obviate it.

While most of my ventures have been failures, as the world reckons
failure, yet they have all been a source of satisfaction to me. Some day I
feel that I shall find a life-work that will be to my liking and have a
salutary effect upon me mentally and physically.

CHAPTER XII.

TRIES A NEW BUSINESS; ALSO TRAVELS SOME FOR HIS HEALTH.

As the reader may have already surmised, the play mentioned in the
preceding chapter was never finished. No; after I was once more domiciled
in my city home, I began to think that if I really was a literary genius I
ought to commercialize my ideas right, instead of using them in fiction or
drama simply to tickle the fancy of people who would forget it all in a
moment's time. The idea of teaching things by mail occurred to me as being
a field of great possibilities.

While it is a difficult matter to give tangible lessons by correspondence
methods on some subjects--swimming, for example--yet on nearly everything
there may be presented a working knowledge which the student can enlarge
upon for himself. I employed some auburn-haired typewriters and began
advertising to teach several different subjects by mail courses. Among
these were journalism, poultry-raising, bee-culture, market-gardening,
surveying, engineering, architecture, and several different things. We
gave our graduates a nice diploma with some blue ribbon and cheap tinsel
on it. These diplomas cost about twenty cents apiece to get them up, which
seemed like a reckless waste of money, but it helped to advertise the
business. Business came and we hadn't much to do except to deposit the
money and