DICAEOPOLIS
Eh! Great Gods! Friend, with thy great eye, round like the hole through
which the oarsman passes his sweep, you have the air of a galley
doubling a cape to gain port.

AMBASSADOR
Come, Pseudartabas, give forth the message for the Athenians
with which you were charged by the Great King.

PSEUDARTABAS
Jartaman exarx 'anapissonia satra.(1)

f(1) Jargon, no doubt meaningless in all languages.

AMBASSADOR
Do you understand what he says?

DICAEOPOLIS
By Apollo, not I!

AMBASSADOR (TO THE PRYTANES)
He says that the Great King will send you gold. Come, utter the word
'gold' louder and more distinctly.

PSEUDARTABAS
Thou shalt not have gold, thou gaping-arsed Ionian.(1)

f(1) The Persians styled all Greeks 'Ionians' without distinction; here
the Athenians are intended.

DICAEOPOLIS
Ah! may the gods forgive me, but that is clear enough!

AMBASSADOR
What does he say?

DICAEOPOLIS
That the Ionians are debauchees and idiots, if they expect to receive
gold from the barbarians.

AMBASSADOR
Not so, he speaks of medimni(1) of gold.

f(1) A Greek measure, containing about six modii.

DICAEOPOLIS
What medimni? Thou are but a great braggart; but get your way; I
will find out the truth by myself. Come now, answer me clearly, if you
do not wish me to dye your skin red. Will the Great King send us gold?
(PSEUDARTABAS MAKES A NEGATIVE SIGN.) Then our ambassadors
are seeking to deceive us? (PSEUDARTABAS SIGNS AFFIRMATIVELY.)
These fellows make signs like any Greek; I am sure that they are
nothing but Athenians. Oh! ho! I recognize one of these eunuchs; it is
Clisthenes, the son of Sibyrtius.(1) Behold the effrontery of this shaven
rump! How! great baboon, with such a beard do you seek to play the
eunuch to us? And this other one? Is it not Straton?

f(1) Noted for his extreme ugliness and his obscenity. Aristophanes
frequently holds him to scorn in his comedies.

HERALD
Silence! Let all be seated. The Senate invites the King's Eye to the
Prytaneum.(1)

f(1) Ambassadors were entertained there at the public expense.

DICAEOPOLIS
Is this not sufficient to drive one to hang oneself? Here I
stand chilled to the bone, whilst the doors of the Prytaneum fly
wide open to lodge such rascals. But I will do something great and
bold. Where is Amphitheus? Come and speak with me.

AMPHITHEUS
Here I am.

DICAEOPOLIS
Take these eight drac