an Informer, packed up
carefully as crockery-ware.

BOEOTIAN
By the twin gods! I should earn big money, if I took one; I
would exhibit him as an ape full of spite.

DICAEOPOLIS
Hah! here we have Nicarchus,(1) who comes to denounce you.

f(1) An informer.

BOEOTIAN
How small he is!

DICAEOPOLIS
But in his case the whole is one mass of ill-nature.

NICARCHUS
Whose are these goods?

DICAEOPOLIS
Mine; they come from Boeotia, I call Zeus to witness.

NICARCHUS
I denounce them as coming from an enemy's country.

BOEOTIAN
What! you declare war against birds?

NICARCHUS
And I am going to denounce you too.

BOEOTIAN
What harm have I done you?

NICARCHUS
I will say it for the benefit of those that listen; you introduce lamp-wicks
from an enemy's country.

DICAEOPOLIS
Then you go as far as denouncing a wick.

NICARCHUS
It needs but one to set an arsenal afire.

DICAEOPOLIS
A wick set an arsenal ablaze! But how, great gods?

NICARCHUS
Should a Boeotian attach it to an insect's wing, and, taking
advantage of a violent north wind, throw it by means of a tube into
the arsenal and the fire once get hold of the vessels, everything
would soon be devoured by the flames.

DICAEOPOLIS
Ah! wretch! an insect and a wick devour everything!
(HE STRIKES HIM.)

NICARCHUS (TO THE CHORUS)
You will bear witness, that he mishandles me.

DICAEOPOLIS
Shut his mouth. Give me some hay; I am going to pack him up like
a vase, that he may not get broken on the road.

CHORUS
Pack up your goods carefully, friend; that the stranger may not
break it when taking it away.

DICAEOPOLIS
I shall take great care with it, for one would say he is cracked already;
he rings with a false note, which the gods abhor.

CHORUS
But what will be done with him?

DICAEOPOLIS
This is a vase good for all purposes; it will be used as a vessel for holding
all foul things, a mortar for pounding together law-suits, a lamp
for spying upon accounts, and as a cup for the mixing up and poisoning
of everything.

CHORUS
None could ever trust a vessel for domestic use that has such a
ring about it.

DICAEOPOLIS
Oh! it is strong, my friend, and will never get broken, if care is
taken to hang it head downwards.

CHORUS
There! it is well packed now!

BOEOTIAN
Marry, I will proceed to carry off my bundle.

CHORUS
Farewell, worthiest of strangers, take this informer