to take your battalions and
your plumes, and, despite the snow, to go and guard our borders.
They have learnt that a band of Boeotians intend taking advantage
of the Feast of Cups to invade our country.

LAMACHUS
Ah! the Generals! they are numerous, but not good for much!
It's cruel, not to be able to enjoy the feast!

DICAEOPOLIS
Oh! warlike host of Lamachus!

LAMACHUS
Wretch! do you dare to jeer me?

DICAEOPOLIS
Do you want to fight this four-winged Geryon?

LAMACHUS
Oh! oh! what fearful tidings!

DICAEOPOLIS
Ah! ah! I see another herald running up; what news does he bring me?

HERALD
Dicaeopolis!

DICAEOPOLIS
What is the matter?

HERALD
Come quickly to the feast and bring your basket and your cup;
'tis the priest of Bacchus who invites you. But hasten, the guests
have been waiting for you a long while. All is ready--couches,
tables, cushions, chaplets, perfumes, dainties and courtesans to boot;
biscuits, cakes, sesame-bread, tarts, lovely dancing women, the sweetest
charm of the festivity. But come with all haste.

LAMACHUS
Oh! hostile gods!

DICAEOPOLIS
This is not astounding; you have chosen this huge, great ugly Gorgon's head
for your patron. You, shut the door, and let someone get ready the meal.

LAMACHUS
Slave! slave! my knapsack!

DICAEOPOLIS
Slave! slave! a basket!

LAMACHUS
Take salt and thyme, slave, and don't forget the onions.

DICAEOPOLIS
Get some fish for me; I cannot bear onions.

LAMACHUS
Slave, wrap me up a little stale salt meat in a fig-leaf.

DICAEOPOLIS
And for me some good greasy tripe in a fig-leaf; I will have it cooked here.

LAMACHUS
Bring me the plumes for my helmet.

DICAEOPOLIS
Bring me wild pigeons and thrushes.

LAMACHUS
How white and beautiful are these ostrich feathers!

DICAEOPOLIS
How fat and well browned is the flesh of this wood-pigeon!

LAMACHUS
Bring me the case for my triple plume.

DICAEOPOLIS

Pass me over that dish of hare.

LAMACHUS
OH! the moths have eaten the hair of my crest.

DICAEOPOLIS
I shall always eat hare before dinner.

LAMACHUS
Hi! friend! try not to scoff at my armor?

DICAEOPOLIS
Hi! friend! will you kindly not stare at my thrushes.

LAMACHUS
Hi! friend! will you kindly not address me.

DICAEOPOLIS
I do not address you; I am scolding my slave. Shall we wager and submit
the matter to Lamachus, which of the two is the best to e