sell, although
Your meaning not a soul may know,--
_Chorus_--Tra-la-la! "Boom" to-day!
[_Ad libitum._

IV.

If Humour is your little line,
Coherent sense you must resign,
Cry, "Paradox alone's divine!
LAMB had _his_ manner, _this_ is Mine!"
Try strain and twist; gnaw the dry bone
Of mirth till all the marrow's gone;
And crowds, who first stared like a stone,
Your "subtle genius" soon will own.
_Chorus_--Tra-la! We "boom" to-day!
[_Ad nauseam._

V.

Is the Dramatic "biz" preferred?
There you may "boom" it like a bird.
Turn on the Absolute-Absurd;
By that strange tap the mob is stirred.
Be dismal, deathly, dirty, dim;
Grovelling, ghastly, gruesome, grim,
Anything meaning morbid whim;
Quidnuncs will cry, "What treuth! what _vim_!"
_Chorus_--Tra-la-la! "Boom" to-day!
[_As long as you like_!

VI.

Or would you even higher fly,
And found a "Cult"? You've but to try.
That blend fools follow in full cry,
Meaninglessness _plus_ Mystery!
A witch astride upon a broom,
A bogie in a darkened room,
Nonsense and nubibustic gloom,--
Mix them like witch-broth; they will "boom"!
_Chorus_--Tra-la! We "boom" to-day!
[_Till you are tired of it._

VII.

Boom! Boom! 'Twill bring in cent. per cent.,
With that Big Drum, Advertisement.
Nonsense, with _nous_ discreetly blent,
Finds the world cheated--and content.
But "make your game" while yet there's room,
For novel shapes of quackery. Doom
Awaits us in the outer gloom:
A day _may_ come when Bosh _won't_ "Boom"!

_Chorus._
That's how we "boom" to-day!
Tra-la! We "boom" to-day!
Ha-ha! We "boom" to-day!
Tra-la! We "boom" to-day!
[_And so on till further orders._

* * * * *

[Illustration: "ASSISTED EDUCATION."]

* * * * *

OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.--Quoth one of the Baron's Assistants to his Chief,
"Sir, those who love the personality, and venerate the memory of CHARLES
DICKENS, will thank Miss HOGARTH who has selected, Mr. LAWRENCE HUTTON who
has edited, and OSGOOD, MCILVAINE & CO. who publish, a series of letters
addressed by BOZ to WILKIE COLLINS. They bear date between the years 1851
and 1870, were found among COLLINS'S papers after his death, and prove