'to be on the
safe side,' I suppose?"

The other did not speak.

"Do you know, to my thinking, you believe perhaps more thoroughly than
any priest."

"Believe in whom? In _Him?_ Listen." Kirillov stood still, gazing before
him with fixed and ecstatic look. "Listen to a great idea: there was a
day on earth, and in the midst of the earth there stood three crosses.
One on the Cross had such faith that he said to another, 'To-day thou
shalt be with me in Paradise.' The day ended; both died and passed away
and found neither Paradise nor resurrection. His words did not come
true. Listen: that Man was the loftiest of all on earth, He was that
which gave meaning to life. The whole planet, with everything on it, is
mere madness without that Man. There has never been any like Him before
or since, never, up to a miracle. For that is the miracle, that there
never was or never will be another like Him. And if that is so, if
the laws of nature did not spare even Him, have not spared even their
miracle and made even Him live in a lie and die for a lie, then all the
planet is a lie and rests on a lie and on mockery. So then, the very
laws of the planet are a lie and the vaudeville of devils. What is there
to live for? Answer, if you are a man."

"That's a different matter. It seems to me you've mixed up two different
causes, and that's a very unsafe thing to do. But excuse me, if you are
God? If the lie were ended and if you realised that all the falsity
comes from the belief in that former God?"

"So at last you understand!" cried Kirillov rapturously. "So it can be
understood if even a fellow like you understands. Do you understand now
that the salvation for all consists in proving this idea to every one?
Who will prove it? I! I can't understand how an atheist could know that
there is no God and not kill himself on the spot. To recognise that
there is no God and not to recognise at the same instant that one is God
oneself is an absurdity, else one would certainly kill oneself. If you
recognise it you are sovereign, and then you won't kill yourself but
will live in the greatest glory. But one, the first, must kill himself,
for else who will begin and prove it? So I must certainly kill myself,
to begin and prove it. Now I am only a god against my will and I am
unhappy, because I am bound to assert my will. All are unhappy because
all are afraid to express their will. Man has hitherto been so unhappy
and so poor because he has bee