sciously done anything to cause her displeasure. For
a long time she defended herself, assuring him that her coldness towards
him was only in his imagination; but, as he insisted, she at last said
to him: 'Well, I will tell you. It was thirty-five years ago. One
afternoon you called on us, and I was in the drawing-room. Being invited
to take a seat by my mother, you chose an arm-chair on which my doll was
asleep. You removed it, and quite unceremoniously laid it on a table,
head downwards, at the risk of hurting it. In fact, you damaged its
nose. I conceived for you a perfect hatred, and, upon my word, I do not
think that I am now capable of forgiving you altogether.'

MORAL.--If you want to get into the good graces of a woman, praise her
baby; if you want a little girl to love you, admire her dolls and treat
them with respect.

CHAPTER XVI

MEN AS A RULE ARE SELFISH--TWO KINDS OF SELFISH MEN

There are in the world men who are devotion and self-abnegation
personified; there are women who are the embodiment of selfishness. From
this we cannot lay down a rule any more than we could if, in landing in
New York, we saw a red-haired woman, and said at once:

'The Americans are a red-haired people.'

But as, during my life, I have known more men who are selfish than
unselfish, and more women who are unselfish than selfish, I am prepared
to conclude that man is more selfish than woman.

I have known men of small income (and in their way good men they were)
belong to two or three clubs, dine at expensive restaurants, and smoke
excellent cigars all day long.

Their daughters had to give lessons in order to obtain the money that
was necessary for dressing decently, and the house had to be kept on
most economical lines.

I have known others, not worse than those I have just mentioned, allow
nothing but water on their family table, and take champagne for dinner
at the club or the restaurant.

I could divide selfish men into two classes: the man with good redeeming
features, and the execrably selfish man.

The former is good-hearted and fairly sensitive. He hates nobody,
because hatred disturbs sleep and rest. He avoids emotions for his own
comfort; he is learnedly selfish.

If you are unhappy, in distressed circumstances, don't bother him about
it. He is sorry, he cannot help it, and he would rather not hear of it.

If you are ill, do not expect a visit from him; the sight of pain or
grief affects him. If yo