is not, in this chapter, a single word of
advice which I give to women in their dealings with husbands which I do
not endorse and give to men in their dealings with their wives.

CHAPTER X

RESIGNATION IN MATRIMONY

According to characters and circumstances, resignation is the virtue of
the weak or the virtue of the strong. A woman resigns herself to her
fate in married life, sometimes because she has not enough strength of
will, sometimes because she does not deign to revolt, oftener still
because she discovers that her rebellion could only make matters worse
for herself, and especially for her children.

If her husband is good, her resignation will soon bring him back to her;
if he is bad, her rebellion will make him much worse.

If you cannot sympathize with your husband, or adopt his views and
manner of thinking, resign yourself, keep your views for yourself, and
do not transform your married life into an eternal French public
meeting, where, instead of striking pebbles together in order to obtain
light, they throw them at one another's faces.

Fulfil your duties. Never complain. Never exact what is not offered to
you, unless it be respect. So long as your husband treats you with
respect, at home as well as in public; so long as he is the thoughtful
father of your children, and carefully and industriously attends to his
profession or business, respect him and inspire in your children the
respect for him, and especially do not make your children the confidant
of your grievances; that is your foremost duty.

I cannot say to you: Try to force yourself to love your husband. This is
not in your power. But I will say: Be irreproachable, and thus make
yourself the superior of your husband. Devote yourself to your family.
If you are rich, do with your money all the good that you can. The
greatest possession is self-esteem. You can rise so high that the
offences committed against you may appear infinitely small. After all,
we get in this world the place that we know how to make for ourselves.

Never let the outside public know the details of your private life.
Receive your friends and your guests with a smile on your lips. If your
husband is a gentleman, he will show you before them the greatest
consideration, and if you are a lady you will treat him in a like
manner.

If your husband is unable to offer you his love--I mean a lover's
love--do not commit the mistake of refusing his friendship, for it is
ju