love, his devotion, to win your affections?
And are you going to do your utmost to help him? Surely you are not
going to deceive him, let him think you love him, and prepare for him
and for yourself a life of misery and wretchedness, and thus build your
married life on contempt and deceit, which will lead you to hate your
husband.

But enough of awful suppositions, for, between you and me, I can declare
that your case is much more hopeful than you think. The disease from
which you suffer--or, rather, from which you imagine that you
suffer--is quite curable, and is cured every day without having to
resort to such extreme measures as you suggest, for, dear lady, do you
not say to me that you love that man 'madly'?

Fireworks, shells, volcanic eruptions, and mad love have this in common:
they may do harm, cause suffering, but they last a short time only. And,
pray, why do you see the man on business every day? Is he your
confessor, your doctor, your music-teacher, your dancing-master? Has a
royal escapade of recent date, like a 'penny dreadful,' created a
disturbance in your otherwise well-balanced mind?

And why can't you marry him? Oh, I see, he is married already.

Now, are you aware that we never fall in love madly except with people
whom we cannot marry? You say you did not know that. I tell you you have
no idea how simple your case is, and how common.

By the way, would not, perchance, that man be the 'juvenile lead' who
acts in the romantic drama which is being played every day in your city?
Oh, you matinee girl! Are you aware that matinee girls invariably love
madly? Yes, as madly and as idiotically as do in the play the heroes
whom they worship.

Now, do not take tragically, or even seriously, such little clouds as
'mad love.' Do not use big words for very little things. Mad love is the
easiest love to cure. Change your doctor or your dancing-master, or--if
I have otherwise guessed right--patronize another theatre. Go and see
'Hamlet'--that will cure you of 'Romeo.'

Then look more carefully at that very sensible man who offers you
marriage and a good position, and if you realize that you can make him
happy, and you are sure you are not madly in love with him, marry him.
And if you study him very closely and discover in him qualities and
attainments that may lead you to fall in love with him madly, don't tell
him: he might believe you.

Men are so silly!

CHAPTER XXXV

DOMESTIC TYRANTS AND THEIR