the boa
constrictor.

***

"The people of London have never understood that wisdom is not
concentrated here," said Sir GEORGE LUNN at the conference of Associated
Education Committees. These cheap sneers at Sir FREDERICK BANBURY are
beneath his notice.

***

The Vicar of South Acton suggests that a huge prize should be offered
for the invention of a good temperance drink. We regret to say that this
is not the first studied insult that has been offered to Government ale.

***

A new race, who had never seen a white man before, is reported to have
been found on Prince Albert Land, and one of them is being taken to
Maine, U.S.A. That ought to teach them to be discovered again.

***

Incidentally so many errors have been made of late in executing people
in Russia that in future all orders for executions will be signed by
LENIN and will bear the words, "Errors and Omissions Excepted."

***

The Bolshevists have their trials just like human beings. One of them
last week was mistaken for a bourgeois and shot.

***

Civil servants engaged by the various Ministries will in future be
required to have special qualifications for their work. We have always
thought that this would be an advantage.

***

Senor FERNANDEZ denies the allegation that Mexico is not now at war with
any nation. It is supposed to have been spread by jealous rivals.

***

In the Isle of Sheppey there is not a single person who is drawing the
unemployment donation. There seems to be no excuse whatever for this
apathy. Full particulars have appeared in the Press.

***

The embargo on the export of gold from the United States is to be raised
almost immediately; meanwhile all shipments will be carefully watched,
the stuff being now nearly worth its weight in coal.

***

County Tyrone has a dog specially trained to trace whiskey. Several
people in this country have already offered it a good home, where it
will be treated as one of the family.

***

Asked to describe the cuckoo the other day, a small boy said it was the
bird which put its eggs out to be laid by another bird.

***

At last an obliging taxi-driver has been discovered. His clock
registered six shillings and his passenger had only five-and-sixpence,
so he offered to reverse his engine in order to wipe off the deficit.

***

We now hear that the authorities have decided that, i