undthimself to
be a 'Typical Englishman.' The diversity of types however does not
help us much."--_Indian Paper_.

True, we find it most confusing.

* * * * *

[Illustration: IN THE SUBSCRIPTION LISTS.

SAINT GEORGE COLLECTS FOR MERRIE ENGLAND.]

* * * * *

THE PUFF UNIVERSAL.

["A Father," writing in _The Times_ of June 10th, protests
vigorously against the cult of "powdered noses."]

When the deadly sky-rover
Came frequently over
And London was darkened at night,
Girls powdered their noses
(Or so one supposes)
As lamp-posts were painted with white;
But now when full moons
Bring no bombs or maroons,
I ask is it proper or right?

Amanda's complexion
Will challenge inspection--
'Tis healthy and rosy and fine;
But she says that if powder
Were never allowed her
Her nose would infallibly shine.
Did Victorian Flossie
Or Gladys, when glossy
Of nose, to such methods incline?
No, they patiently scrubbed it,
Rough-towelled and rubbed it
Until it was brought into line.

We have long been acquainted
With ladies who painted
To mimic a juvenile mien;
But I'd ban _sans_ compassion
The powdering fashion
When practised by sweet seventeen;
And I wish that wise mothers
And sensible brothers
Would let their abhorrence be seen.

I'm only "a father,"
Old-fashioned and rather
Deficient in stiffness of spine,
So, feeling unequal
To facing the sequel,
My name I'm unwilling to sign;
For the call for more powder
Grows stronger and louder
From every daughter of mine,
And any restriction
Of puffs or nose-friction
Would end in a general "shine."

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Vicar_. "I'M SORRY TO HEAR THAT YOUR HUSBAND IS IN GAOL
AGAIN, MRS. STIBBS. STEALING A WATCH, EH?"

_Mrs. Stibbs_. "YES, SIR. BUT 'TAIN'T 'IS FAULT THIS TIME. THE
MAGISTRATE SAID 'ISSELF THAT JOE DIDN'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
'MEUM AND TOOUM,' AN' IN 'IS IGNORANCE 'E'D DONE A BIT O' 'TOOUMING.'"]

* * * * *

OUR MOVIE-MINISTERS.

(_Deductions by a Political Expert.)_

The admirable plan of transplanting Ministers admittedly doing excellent
work in their departments just as they are settling down in the saddle,
though generally commended by supporters of the Government, is
meeting wi