ys later he was notified that the transaction was approved. After
waiting till he was reasonably certain that the correspondence was
safely lost, burnt or consigned to impenetrable archives, he sent the
following wire:--

"Reference my R.L.217, dated April 1st, for 'bottle' read 'cart.'"

The reply came back, "Noted."

PATLANDER.

* * * * *

[Illustration: ANOTHER TUBE CRUSH.]

* * * * *

[Illus: _Instructress_. "ALL YOU WANT NOW IS A LITTLE POLISHING."]

* * * * *

OUR WONDERFUL WORLD.

"Three Geese and Gander, Four Chicks and Drake; all laying."--
_Bolton Evening News_

* * * * *

"Mr. Marston, the President [of the Policemen's Union], stated
that the time for action will arrive after the tripe alliance at
Southport on June 24."----_Provincial Paper_

An offal prospect.

* * * * *

"The pages were in the khaki uniform of the Cadet Corps of the
1st-5th crepe de chine, trimmed with cream lace and blue crepe
de chine, trimmed with cream lace and blue ribbons, and carried
directoire silver-knobbed sticks, tied with blue ribbon and pink
roses, gifts of the bridegroom."--_Mid-Devon Times_.

The 1st-5th have always been famous for their dressiness.

* * * * *

THE ARCHAEOLOGISTS; OR, THE FIGHT AGAINST REACTION.

MY DEAR KNOTT,--It has occurred to me that since the closing of our
little V.A.D. depot there is a good deal of energy in Filby without
a suitable outlet, and I am writing to you on the matter as I feel
sure you will have some helpful suggestion to make.

Of course a great deal of this energy might be profitably expended
on the ever-increasing spiritual needs of the parish, but I feel
that if some society of a secular character were got up just now it
would be helpful, especially to the female portion of our community.

Miss Timlin has suggested a Philatelic Society, and I shall be
pleased to hear your views on her proposal.

Believe me,

Yours ever sincerely,

THEODORE BLAND.

DEAR VICAR,--I have your letter and quite agree as to the
advisability of starting some society for working off the latent
energy which has accumulated since the demise of the War and the
consequent closing down of War a