e noise meant.

"It's only Lord Cornwallis, sir," said the boys, "battling with his
shoemaker about the price of a pair of top-boots."

"Oh, sir," said I, "it was only in fun that I called myself Lord
Cornwallis."

"In fun!--Where are the boots? And you, sir, give me your bill." My
beautiful boots were brought; and Stiffelkind produced his bill. "Lord
Cornwallis to Samuel Stiffelkind, for a pair of boots--four guineas."

"You have been fool enough, sir," says the Doctor, looking very stern,
"to let this boy impose on you as a lord; and knave enough to charge him
double the value of the article you sold him. Take back the boots, sir!
I won't pay a penny of your bill; nor can you get a penny. As for you,
sir, you miserable swindler and cheat, I shall not flog you as I did
before, but I shall send you home: you are not fit to be the companion
of honest boys."

"SUPPOSE WE DUCK HIM before he goes?" piped out a very small voice. The
Doctor grinned significantly, and left the school-room; and the boys
knew by this they might have their will. They seized me and carried me
to the playground pump: they pumped upon me until I was half dead;
and the monster, Stiffelkind, stood looking on for the half-hour the
operation lasted.

I suppose the Doctor, at last, thought I had had pumping enough, for he
rang the school-bell, and the boys were obliged to leave me. As I got
out of the trough, Stiffelkind was alone with me. "Vell, my lort," says
he, "you have paid SOMETHING for dese boots, but not all. By Jubider,
YOU SHALL NEVER HEAR DE END OF DEM." And I didn't.

APRIL.--FOOLING.

After this, as you may fancy, I left this disgusting establishment, and
lived for some time along with pa and mamma at home. My education was
finished, at least mamma and I agreed that it was; and from boyhood
until hobbadyhoyhood (which I take to be about the sixteenth year of
the life of a young man, and may be likened to the month of April
when spring begins to bloom)--from fourteen until seventeen, I say, I
remained at home, doing nothing--for which I have ever since had a
great taste--the idol of my mamma, who took part in all my quarrels with
father, and used regularly to rob the weekly expenses in order to find
me in pocket-money. Poor soul! many and many is the guinea I have had
from her in that way; and so she enabled me to cut a very pretty figure.

Papa was for having me at this time articled to a merchant, or put
to some profession