borne his Majesty's commission. He gave me no
money, but he fed and lodged me comfortably. The men and boys used
to laugh, and call me General, and Lord Cornwallis, and all sorts of
nicknames; and old Stiffelkind made a thousand new ones for me.

One day I can recollect--one miserable day, as I was polishing on
the trees a pair of boots of Mr. Stiffelkind's manufacture--the old
gentleman came into the shop, with a lady on his arm.

"Vere is Gaptain Stobbs?" said he. "Vere is dat ornament to his
Majesty's service?"

I came in from the back shop, where I was polishing the boots, with one
of them in my hand.

"Look, my dear," says he, "here is an old friend of yours, his
Excellency Lort Cornvallis!--Who would have thought such a nobleman
vood turn shoeblack? Captain Stobbs, here is your former flame, my dear
niece, Miss Grotty. How could you, Magdalen, ever leaf such a lof of a
man? Shake hands vid her, Gaptain;--dere, never mind de blacking!" But
Miss drew back.

"I never shake hands with a SHOEBLACK," said she, mighty contemptuous.

"Bah! my lof, his fingers von't soil you. Don't you know he has just
been VITEVASHED?"

"I wish, uncle," says she, "you would not leave me with such low
people."

"Low, because he cleans boots? De Gaptain prefers PUMPS to boots I
tink--ha! ha!"

"Captain indeed! a nice Captain," says Miss Crutty, snapping her fingers
in my face, and walking away: "a Captain who has had his nose pulled!
ha! ha!"--And how could I help it? it wasn't by my own CHOICE that that
ruffian Waters took such liberties with me. Didn't I show how averse I
was to all quarrels by refusing altogether his challenge?--But such is
the world. And thus the people at Stiffelkind's used to tease me, until
they drove me almost mad.

At last he came home one day more merry and abusive than ever.
"Gaptain," says he, "I have goot news for you--a goot place. Your
lordship vill not be able to geep your garridge, but you vill be
gomfortable, and serve his Majesty."

"Serve his Majesty?" says I. "Dearest Mr. Stiffelkind, have you got me a
place under Government?"

"Yes, and somting better still--not only a place, but a uniform: yes,
Gaptain Stobbs, a RED GOAT."

"A red coat! I hope you don't think I would demean myself by entering
the ranks of the army? I am a gentleman, Mr. Stiffelkind--I can
never--no, I never--"

"No, I know you will never--you are too great a goward--ha! ha!--though
dis is a red goat, and a place w