nd captains
of industry; we too must have Publicity or--ahem--pass under. And as the
demand for Publicity increases, the supply of it naturally diminishes.
You understand that? Well, now, any association with Masticator B.
Fellows means Publicity at once for the lucky individual. But there are
times when the vast sweep of economic currents ties up all the available
Publicity, and at those times great enterprises languish from its
scarcity. It may befall that even such giant operators as Masticator B.
Fellows find themselves embarrassed. It is then only the man of genius
whose magic hand can smite the rock in some novel way, and cause
Publicity again to gush forth fresh and sparkling--it is then only he
who is heard from. There has been such a time of late. Publicity was
tied up, and Masticator needed some for his--for certain plans he has to
benefit the human race. Now, what does Masticator do? He surveys the
general situation, he thinks it over, and presently he says 'Spelling
Reform.' He smites the rock, and there you have it. You understand me?
Well, supposing you gentlemen do fail to--ahem--make any considerable
impression upon the English language, you will have made a considerable
impression on the public; the rock will have gushed, Masticator's point
will be gained. He will have secured the Publicity he needs for his--his
benevolent enterprises; each of you gentlemen will have secured
Publicity for your names and works; and we mustn't forget the English
language. It will have got Publicity, too; it needs it, like all the
rest of us. I'm sure you understand me."

Thus Kibosh finished, and it entered my mind to descend at our next
stop, and take the first train back to my own place; but this thought I
quickly dismissed, remembering Masticator's methods of reaching those
whom he wanted. And (although I know this is unworthy) I was become
very curious to see what we should all do, once we were gathered
together. Were all the rest of my colleagues coming for Publicity? I
glanced at the window, where the shawl still screened Professor Willows
and Miss Appleby, and it seemed to me that they had come rather for
Privacy.

"Who are the rest of my colleagues?" I now asked Kibosh.

"Well, now, I'm afraid you've got me," he responded. "There's--let me
see--Professor Flawless Nathaniel Maverick, of Fishball University,
Massachusetts. He is with us. A profound scholar, sir."

"What is his line?" I asked.

"Well, now, that