Rev. F.S. KOPFMANN with eggs. This is disgraceful with eggs at
their present price.

* * *

We have just heard of a Scotsman who has a pre-GEDDES railway time-table
for sale, present owner having no further use for it.

* * *

It is stated in scientific circles that the present weather is due to the
Gulf Stream. This relieves Mr. CHURCHILL of considerable responsibility.

* * *

"The length of a bee's sting," says _Tit Bits_, "is only one thirty-second
of an inch." We are grateful for this information because when we are being
stung we are always too busy to measure for ourselves.

* * *

Those who maintain that nothing good ever comes from Russia have suffered a
nasty slap in the face. A news message states that the Bolshevists have
invited Mr. SMILLIE to visit Petrograd.

* * *

"Horsehair coats have made their appearance," says _The Outfitter_. Surely
this is nothing very new. We have often seen horses wearing them.

* * *

A man who stole the same fowls twice has been charged at Grimsby. He pleads
that his bookkeeper omitted to enter them in the day-book the first time.

* * *

It is now being hinted in political circles that Mr. WILLIAM BRACE, M.P.,
has consented to bequeath his moustache to the nation.

* * *

Mr. SMILLIE was much heartened by the news from Lucerne that the PRIME
MINISTER had climbed down the Rigi in three hours.

* * *

As a result of the new rise in the price of petrol many of the middle-class
have been compelled to turn down their automatic cigarette-lighters.

* * *

Although we may appear to be a little previous, we have it on good
authority that Mr. BOTTOMLEY is already making arrangements to predict that
the approaching coal-strike will end before Christmas.

* * *

The various attempts to swim or cycle across the Channel having proved
unsuccessful, we hear that interest is again being revived in the proposed
Channel Tunnel.

* * *

It is rumoured that Councillor CLARK has recently purchased a large
consignment of Government flannel, in order to provide adequate
underclothing for mixed bathers.

* * *

A large quantity of rusty piano wire, says a news item, has been found in a
valuable milch cow at Boston, Lines. There is hope that the "Tune the Cow
Died of" may now be positively identified.

* * *

According to a sporting paper there is a great shortage of referees this
season. The offer to receive any member of this profession into the ranks
of the