ring;
Patience, reader! no, it's not the nightin-
gale I'm going to sing.

Sweet to lie at ease and for a while hark
To a "spirit that was never bird;"
Still I don't propose to sing the skylark,
As perhaps inferred.

I'm content to leave it to a fitter
Tongue than mine to hymn the "moan of doves,"
Or the swallow, apt to "cheep and twitter
Twenty million loves."

I'm intrigued by no precocious rook, who
Haunts the high hall garden calling "Maud;"
Mine's no "blithe newcomer" like the cuckoo
Wordsworth used to laud.

Never could the blackbird or the throstle
(From the poet each has had his due)
Win from me such perfectly colossal
Gratitude as you.

You, I mean, accommodating partridge,
By some lucky chance (the only one,
Spite of much expenditure of cartridge)
Fallen to my gun.

* * * * *

[Illustration: OUT OF THE FRYING PAN.

WAR VETERAN. "THEY TOLD ME I WAS FIGHTING FOR DEAR LIFE, BUT I NEVER DREAMT
IT WAS GOING TO BE AS DEAR AS ALL THIS."]

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Father._ "OH, YES, I USED TO PLAY QUITE A LOT OF CRICKET. I
ONCE MADE FORTY-SEVEN."

_Son._ "WHAT--WITH A HARD BALL, FATHER?"]

* * * * *

THE HUMAN CITY AND SUBURBAN.

The idea and the name for it were the invention of the ingenious Piggott. I
am his first initiate, and with the zeal of the neophyte I am endeavouring
to make his discovery more widely known. The game, which is healthy and
invigorating, can be carried on in any of the remoter suburbs, where the
train-service is not too frequent. All that is required is a fairly long
and fairly straight piece of road, terminating in a railway-station, and a
sufficiency of City men of suitable age and rotundity.

The scheme is based on the Herd instinct--on the tendency of most creatures
to follow their leader. For example, if you are walking down to your early
train, with plenty of time to spare as you suppose, and you observe the man
in front of you looking at his watch and suddenly quickening his steps,
first to a smart walk, then to a brisk jog-trot, it is not in human nature,
however you may trust your own watch, not to follow suit. This is precisely
what Piggott led me to do one morning about six weeks back.

When, on reaching the station ten minutes too early, I remonstrated with
him, he apologised.

"I a