blue and join a crew on the
rolling river,
"Beyond the tide," dropping all their "side," party or personal,
leaving "liver,"
And Influenza, and other "Obstructions," all party-jobbers, all
jibbers and jolters,
In sunny weather to crowd together in Moulsey Lock, or it might be
BOULTER's!

* * * * *

[Illustration: ELEMENTARY INSTRUCTION IN COOKERY.

_Young Lady_. "AND NOW, JANE, WHAT'S THE _NEXT_ THING TO DO, AFTER
PUTTING THE MEAT AND POTATOES IN THE STEWPAN?"

_Village Girl_. "PLEASE, MISS, WASH THE BABY!"]

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.

_The Kennel, Barks, Friday, May 15_.--This entry in Diary is dated
from my ancestral home, pleasantly situated in the County I have the
honour to represent. Haven't been to Westminster this week. Hear,
through usual channels of information, that House adjourns to-day
for Whitsun Recess. When I say House, I mean fragment that remains;
a few doors and chimneys, with here and there a ruined wing. Fact
is, majority absent with influenza. Some seventy or eighty of us
have formed House of our own; meet regularly at usual hour; get
through business in a way that would astonish the residuum left at
Westminster; and jog off comfortably for dinner. All Parties and all
sections of Party represented. SPEAKER and Chairman of Committees
still stick to Westminster. But we have GORST, one of the
Deputy-Speakers, who presides with dignity and despatch. JACKSON
looks after arrangement of business. AKERS-DOUGLAS whips up the
Conservatives, assisted by SYDNEY HERBERT and ARTHUR HILL. THOMAS
ESMONDE brings up to the scratch TANNER, SWIFT MACNEILL, and PIERCE
MAHONY. On Treasury Bench MICHAEL BEACH sits in place of OLD MORALITY,
being supported by GEORGIE HAMILTON, STUART WORTLEY, and JAMES
FERGUSSON, whilst KNUTSFORD and DERBY look down from Peers' Gallery.
On Front Opposition Bench Mr. G., just arrived; finds JOHN MORLEY,
OSBORNE AP MORGAN, KAY-SHUTTLEWORTH, and MUNDELLA. WOLMER not yet
arrived, but daily expected. Meanwhile JOHN LUBBOCK, MUNTZ, T.W.
RUSSELL, and the Wiwacious WIGGIN here, ready to obey the Whip, when
issued.

CHARLES FORSTER, looks after petitions for us; FRANK LOCKWOOD draws us
out (or in, as the case may be); ALGERNON BORTHWICK throws an air of
fashionable society around us; the Reverberating COLOMB lifts his tall
head in our midst; ISA