tponed. It didn't matter, because we forgot about the
great dinner.

But towards the end of September Celia came across the sample case
again. All the beds were empty now but one. Torpedo James still lay in
his four-poster, brown and inscrutable.

"Better put him away," she said, "and on the day that peace is signed
you can take us both out."

And so Torpedo Jimmy became a symbol. The more I long for peace, the
more I long for that historic smoke. When Louisa's brother or Nora's
uncle has a long pessimistic talk with KITCHENER, then I look sadly at
my cigar; but when FRENCH and JOFFRE unbend to Vera's stepfather or
Beryl's cousin and give him words of cheer, then I take it out and pinch
it fondly, and already I see the waiter coming round with a torch to
light it.

I have been looking at it to-day, and I see that it is giving a little
at one end. I fancy that the moth has been getting at it. Well, if it
does not last till peace is signed, it will be a peace that I shall not
believe in. For a stable peace, as all our eminent novelists keep
pointing out in all the papers, many things are necessary, and one of
them is that I should smoke my cigar happily on the first night of it.
Torpedo Jimmy must do himself justice. No premature explosions; no moths
flying out from the middle of it; no unauthorised ventilation. The exact
moment must be chosen by the Allies. My cigar must be ripe ... and yet
not too ripe.

Celia says she is sure it will be just lovely. So sure is she that she
suggests hanging the cigar in the hall and tapping it to see how the war
is going. "When it taps exactly right, then we shall know the war is
just over."

But I think we shall know that anyhow. EDWARD GREY will break it to
Beryl's nephew all right; Celia will climb down off her parcel and rush
home to me with the news; I shall ring up the restaurant and order
dinner ... and at eight o'clock, in great spirits, we shall get into our
taxi and drive off together--Celia and I and Torpedo Jimmy.

A. A. M.

* * * * *

SOME FACTS ABOUT THE WAR

(_An essay in the prevailing mode_).

The actual cost of hostilities has been estimated by reliable
authorities at the enormous sum of L143,468 0_s._ 0-1/2_d._ _per diem_
for this country alone. The odd halfpenny presumably represents the cost
of an evening edition bought by the official contradictor in the
exercise of his duties.

* * *

Amongst the (more or