AND GOOD.

Young Thompson was a bit too short,
But hard as nails and level-headed,
And in his soul the proper sort
Of dogged pluck was deeply bedded;
To join the ranks he almost ran,
But saw the weedy supersede him;
Though he was every inch a man,
His country didn't need him.

He read each passionate appeal
On wall and window, cab and cart;
How impotent they made him feel!
He tried once more, though sick at heart.
In vain! He saw the sergeants smirk;
He argued, but they wouldn't heed him;
So sullenly trudged back to work--
His country didn't need him.

But, now the standard height's curtailed,
Again he goes to join the ranks;
Though yesterday he tried and failed
To-day they welcome him with thanks.
Apparently he's just as small,
But, since his size no more impedes him,
In spirit he is six foot tall--
Because his country needs him.

* * * * *

Illustration: T. B. D.

_Officer's Steward._ "WILL YOU TAKE YOUR BATH, SIR, BEFORE OR AFTER
HACTION?"

* * * * *

THE MYSTERY OF PRINCE ----.

We seek information of the present whereabouts of Prince ---- of ----.

Some few weeks ago the news came that he was carried wounded into a
Brussels hospital, with a velvet mask over his face, so that none might
recognise him. The PRINCE was visited in hospital by a tall man, also
heavily masked, but not so heavily as to conceal a pair of soaring
moustaches, freshly waxed. None dared speculate as to Who this Visitor
might be. The hush was tremendous. The Visitor silently pinned on the
patient a specimen of the Iron Cross and as silently left.

It was the 37000th Iron Cross bestowed since the outbreak of war.

At the autopsy it was proved conclusively that the bullet inside the
PRINCE was of German origin.

After the post-mortem the PRINCE was luckily captured by the Belgians,
and held at Antwerp as hostage for the good behaviour of the German
troops occupying Brussels.

When the fall of Antwerp became imminent the PRINCE was secretly removed
to England. A fortnight ago he was seen in a motor-car driving round
Battersea Park, accompanied and guarded by an English officer.

The PRINCE wore his saxe-blue full-dress tunic, his corn-gold moustache
and his rather stout face, and was looking considerably depressed.

Since that date no word has come of him. The Censor seems to have
rigid