landed on the coast of Flanders. The writer
describes how, as he was reading one of Mr. BENNETT'S recent articles on
the war in a carefully excavated trench, a "Jack Johnson" shell
descended directly over him, but was suddenly diverted by the article,
and soared away at right angles, bursting with a terrific chuckle at a
safe distance.

* * * * *

Latest War News.

Turkey has now joined the "Sossidges"--a trifle earlier in the year than
usual.

* * * * *

We understand that Pietermaritzburg will shortly change its name to
Petrobothagrad.

* * * * *

Illustration: THE EXCURSIONIST.

_Scene_: TICKET OFFICE AT ---- (_censored_).

TRIPPER WILHELM. "FIRST CLASS TO PARIS." CLERK. "LINE BLOCKED."

WILHELM. "THEN MAKE IT WARSAW." CLERK. "LINE BLOCKED."

WILHELM. "WELL, WHAT ABOUT CALAIS?" CLERK. "LINE BLOCKED."

WILHELM. "HANG IT! I _MUST_ GO _SOMEWHERE_! I PROMISED MY PEOPLE I WOULD."

* * * * *

BRITAIN TO BELGIUM.

Sister, for the tears that thou hast shed,
Sister, for thy dear undying dead,
For the sons thou hast not grudged to give,
Loyally, that Liberty might live;
Sister, for the little child
Dead beside a hearth defiled--
Do I dream my love alone
Can atone?

Can I bring again the brave that fell
When thy heaven crumbled into hell?
Can I banish from before thine eyes
Haunting visions under haggard skies?
Blazing home and blackened plain,
Can I make them fair again?
Can I ever heal thy smart,
Broken Heart?

Sister, we be women, thou and I;
Sorrow's craving who can satisfy?
None may pay thee back so dear a loss,
Only let me help to bear thy cross.
Sick and hungry in their need
Let me succour, let me feed;
Little Sister, freely take
For their sake.

* * * * *

Illustration: "'HE'S AS WILLING AS A CHRISTIAN; STRIKE ME BLIND IF HE
ISN'T', SAID SIKES."

_Oliver Twist_, Chap. xvi.

(_With apologies to the late Fred Barnard._)

* * * * *

AS OTHERS WISH TO SEE US.

The ingenious German device of writing private letters to English
friends filled with German justifications of the War and news of the
gaiety and normal prosperity of Berlin is now being carried farther, and
extracts from private letters