ately we thought him something worse than a triplet, but
we neither knew quite how to say it. Anyhow, all the Herberts are
fascinating.

* * * * *

THE UNIVERSAL WAR.

"Into this gap the Germans placed a number of gnus--six or
eight."--_People._

The "Gorilla Warfare" (mentioned last week) having failed, the enemy
tries a new dodge. But the Allies remain unalarmed.

* * * * *

Illustration: LATEST DEVICE OF THE ENEMY.

LEARNING TO SING "IT'S A LONG, LONG WAY TO TIPPERARY" FOR THE PURPOSE OF
DECEIVING THE ALLIES.

* * * * *

OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.

(_By Mr. Punch's Staff of Learned Clerks._)

If, as is just conceivable, the Teuton braggart fails to convert the
universe into a German empire, his downfall will be partly due to his
lack of humour. Among the things that go to make this saving grace are
an agile imagination and a nice sense of proportion, and it is when a
man starts lying about himself that he shows most clearly whether or not
he has it. Some weeks ago an "Honorary Committee of thirty-four
distinguished" (or, if you will, notorious) "Germans and a Board of
Editors," eleven strong, gathered together to concoct an epoch-making
fib, which, upon completion, was labelled "The Truth about Germany:
Facts about the War", and was circulated, secretly but thoroughly,
throughout the United States. The Forty-five Liars content themselves
with a methodical misstatement of every fact, disregarding all the
evidence, and, indeed, their own diplomatists' admissions, to the
contrary. There is no ingenious perversion of the truth, no subtle
invention of argument and no appeal whatever to the intelligence of the
reader; it is from beginning to end heavy and quite incredible bosh.
Though it was never intended to be read in this country, Mr. DOUGLAS
SLADEN has been lucky or clever enough to secure a copy of it, which he
reproduces cheaply under the title _Germany's Great Lie_ (HUTCHINSON). I
congratulate him upon having obtained such excellent copy, but I think
he has somewhat spoilt the effect of it by the manner of his annotations
interposed in italics. His facts and quotations are apt and useful, but
his indignant denials and sarcastic epithets run to excess; every time
one reads the emphatic assertion that black is white one does not want
to have also to read that this is an amazing lie. I recommend the public
to co