oaned to the French army, as I told you,
and the French never have learnt how to cook a man's size breakfast.
Now, how in the name of time can a railroad man do a day's work when he
begins it on nothin' but coffee and a hunk of sour bread? But we've been
runnin in luck lately, buyin eggs and things off the people along the
line, and gettin' a little stuff from the U.S.Q.M. now and then, so we
make out pretty well. The only thing that got our goat was when they
offered us the French tobacco ration--seein' as we were in their army,
they thought we were entitled to it. We took one whiff apiece--and then
we said 'Nix!' Since Christmas, though, we've come into luck," he added,
pulling a big hunk of long-cut out of his Canadian blouse. "Have a chew?

"Danger? Hell! What'd we come over for, a Sunday school picnic? No, when
you come right down to it there isn't much. If we get the tip, we just
crawl into the dugouts along the road, and shuffle the pasteboards until
we get the signal that the party is over. I've had livelier times 'n
this out west, with washouts and wrecks and beatin' off a crowd of
greasers from the tracks when they went wild, many a time. No, sir, war
hasn't got much new in the movie thrill line for a railroad man!"

----
AH! THOSE FRENCH!
----

"Mademoiselle, tell me: What is the difference between you and a
major-general?"

"_Mais, oui, m'sieur_, there are many differences; which one does
_m'sieur_ mean?"

[Illustration]

"Ah, Mademoiselle, the general, he has stars upon his shoulders; but
you--you, mademoiselle, have the stars in your eyes!"

----
SHAVING IN FRANCE.
----

The order says, "Shave every other day." Now you, personally, may need
to shave every day; or you may need to shave as often as twice a day;
or, again, you may be one of those lucky and youthful souls who really
don't need to shave oftener than once a week. But, as the order makes
the every-other-day shave obligatory, you, no matter what classification
you may fall under, decide to compromise on the every-other-day shave.
In that way, and in that way only, can discipline be maintained and a
pleasing variety of growths up and down the comp'ny front be secured.

The order being such as it is, you dispense with washing your face every
day. You was