ive fancy.

***

"I was shaved yesterday by a highly intelligent young Pole," says a
writer in _The Express_. The Barber's Pole is of course a very old
institution.

***

"Old Masters--VELASQUEZ and so on--what are they?" said Mr. Justice EVE
last week during a case dealing with pictures. "I should turn them into
cash if they were mine." Seeing how often the old fellows painted EVE'S
portrait, this _dictum_ of his Lordship strikes one as ungracious.

***

Messrs. BRYANT AND MAY have issued a brochure describing how little
houses may be made out of matches. A companion volume, entitled "How to
light them," by a Suffragette, may be expected shortly.

***

It is sometimes asked, Why do so few individuals when sentenced to death
for murder take advantage of their right to appeal? The answer is,
Because the Court of Criminal Appeal has the power of increasing a
sentence.

***

"Samuel, in the spirit of a notorious member of his race, one
Pontius Pilate, disavows all responsibility in the matter of the
shooting of Englishmen in the Transvaal."

_New Witness._

_Mr. Punch_ (to Mr. SAMUEL) _Ave! Civis Romane!_

***

[Illustration: _Butler_ (_to new servant from the country_). "When
you've quite finished cleaning next door's steps perhaps you would
kindly begin on our own."]

***

"BRIC-A-BRAC.--'My Somali Book' is a work by Captain Mosse, who
spent a considerable time in the country, which Sampson Low is
about to publish."--_Daily Chronicle._

Modesty is all very well in its place, but to publish an area of over
400,000 square miles and then call the feat "Bric-a-Brac"--well!

***

"The full penalty of L20 and costs was imposed at Croydon
Borough Police-court upon Ernest Montefiore de Wilton, of St.
James's-street, W., for exceeding the ten-mile limit at Southend
on Jan. 25.

Burroughes & Watts' Billiard Tables for Speed."--_Daily
Telegraph._

Mr. DE WILTON, reading the advertisement: "No, thanks. A really slow
table for me."

***

THE STRIKE OF SCHOOL-TEACHERS.

Sir,--Is the nation properly alive to the seriousness of the educational
_impasse_ in Herefordshire? Personally I view with alarm the state of
things of which that is a symptom.

What will it mean if this sort of thing spreads, as I fear it may? We
shall have the children of our working-classes growing up ill-educated
and with imperfect manners