--Oriental.

A. With a ship (_Sinbad the Sailor_).

B. Without a ship.
(a) With a cave.
(1) Password to cave, "Open Sesame" (_The Forty Thieves_).
(2) Password to cave, "Abracadabra" (_Aladdin_).

(b) Without a cave (_Bluebeard_).

II.--Non-Oriental.

A. With a ship.
(a) With a cat (_Dick Whittington_).
(b) Without a cat (_Robinson Crusoe_).

B. Without a ship.
(a) With a giant.
(1) With a cat (_Puss-in-Boots_).
(2) Without a cat.
(i.) With a bean-stalk (_Jack and the Beanstalk_).
(ii.) Without a beanstalk (_Jack the Giant-Killer_).

(b) Without a giant:
(1) With animals: sheep (_Bo-Peep_);
wolf (_Little Red Riding-Hood_);
goose (_Mother Goose_);
uncertain (_Beauty and the Beast_);
two children (_The Babes in the Wood_).

(2) Without animals.
(i.) With footgear: shoes (_Goody Two-Shoes_);
slippers (_Cinderella_).
(ii.) No particular footgear.
(a) With a "Jack" (_Jack and
Jill, Little Jack Horner, The House that Jack Built_).
(b) Without a "Jack" (The Sleeping Beauty).

* * * * *

Notice on a suite of furniture:--

"Monthly payments 12/6. They will last a lifetime."

Help!

* * * * *

ONE OF US--NOW.

[Illustration: The Old Postmaster-General (_to the New
Postmaster-General_). "THAT YOU, HOBHOUSE? I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET
THROUGH TO YOU ON THIS INFERNAL TELEPHONE FOR THE LAST HALF-HOUR. I WANT
TO CONGRATULATE YOU ON BEING APPOINTED TO A DEPARTMENT WHICH I LEFT IN A
STATE OF PERFECT EFFICIENCY.]

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Fair Yankee_ (_who, on her first visit to England, has
been told how extremely obliging the London policeman is_). "Say, would
you vurry kindly do up my shoe-string?"]

* * * * *

"CINES" OF THE TIMES.

(_A far-away Project of educational Films._)

O advent of the age of gold,
O happy day for proud papas
When Hellas shall her tale unfold
On secondary "cinemas"!

When "all the glory that was Greece
And all the grandeur that was Rome"
Shall hire on a perpetual lease
The academic "Picturedrome."

O OVID on the screen for kids!
O Helicon attained by 'bus!
O filmographic Aeneids!
O vitoscoped HERODOTUS!

Our boys shall note the sacred Nine
Ascending their immortal peak