as no luck;
The offspring that she tends so well
Are probably of alien shell;
Indeed, for all that she can tell,
They may be duck.

Yes, one may grant that on the whole
She would not thrill the poet soul;
For, tho' she plays a decent _role_
Beyond all doubt,
Where mental qualities are lacked
We find but little to attract;
She does not make, in point of fact,
The heart go out.

But see her when some danger lies
O'er her young brood, and, with wild eyes,
Straight at the sudden foe she flies,
Her full soul spurred
To battle with the gnashing beak--
A roaring tiger is more meek;
And somehow one is bound to speak
Well of the bird.

DUM-DUM.

* * * * *

From the "Found" column in _The Standard_:--

"Fox Skin Fur, on Hog's Back."

The last place where you would look for it.

* * * * *

"Natal first innings--Barnes, 5 wickets for 44 runs; Rolf, 4 for
59; Woolley, 6 for 6; Douglas, 8 for 8; Hearne, none for 15;
Bird, 1 for 9.--P.A. Foreign Special Telegram."

_Glasgow Herald._

And yet Natal won.

* * * * *

THE MISSING WORD.

[Illustration: The "Premier" Parrot (_emerging from profound thought_).
"EX----EX----EX----EX----"

John Bull. "LOOK HERE, HERBERT, IF YOU'RE _GOING_ TO SAY 'EXCLUSION,'
FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE _SAY_ IT AND GET IT OVER!" [_Parrot relapses into
profound thought_.]]

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

(Extracted from the Diary of Toby, M.P.)

_House of Commons, Tuesday, February_ 10.--Odd to find proceedings in
House to-day reminiscent of incident in a famous trial. Occasion
recognised as supremely momentous. Marks, within defined limit of time,
crisis of bitter controversy. Before Session closes fate of Ireland and
of the Ministry will be settled. PREMIER'S speech awaited with gravest
anxiety. Lobby thronged with animated groups. Before four o'clock--when
SPEAKER returned to Chair elate with consciousness of singular foresight
in having "for greater accuracy" possessed himself of copy of KING'S
Speech, presently read to expectant Members, most of whom heard it
delivered from the Throne two hours earlier--stream of humanity flooded
House, filling every seat and crowding Bar.

It was at preliminary gathering that case of _Bardell_ v. _Pickwick_ was
recalled. House awaiting arriv