light-house? It's against
the regulations--they should be flying the Trinity House flag--if
anything. That _must_ come out, you know--it really must! [_Exit._

_Pres_. Silly blunder, but it can be easily remedied. Ah! the
Secretary of State for War! (_Enter that official_) Well, Mr.
STANHOPE, and how do _you_ like the new purchase?

_War Minister_ (_after, a glance at the canvas_). Tol lol. But come, I
say, come; the Iron Duke never wore a hat like _that_! And, I say,
as it isn't raining, why has he put up his umbrella? In the cause of
historical accuracy that should not be allowed. [_Exit._

_Pres_. (_drily_). I am afraid our friend will have enough to do.
(_Enter the remainder of the Cabinet together_). Well, Gentlemen--hope
you approve of our purchase?

_Remainder_ (_together_). Not at all. You should have only bought the
frame! [_Scene closes in on the consideration of this new point._

* * * * *

[Illustration: "MANNING THE (BACK-)YARDS."

CHELSEA, JUNE, 1891. FOUR BELL(E)S.]

* * * * *

MR. PUNCH EXPLAINS.

[_Last week Mr. Punch congratulated King HENRY'S "holy shade"
on the Four-hundredth Anniversary of the Foundation of Eton
College._]

To _Mr. Punch's_ friends, who think he blundered,
In thinking Eton's years were just four hundred,
And acted quite in error when he paid
Congratulations to King HENRY'S "shade,"
A word of explanation now is due,
To show how what he stated then was true.
The word is this--that fifty years have now
Elapsed since _Mr. Punch_ first made his bow;
And though since then with many friends he's parted,
Himself he is as young as when he started.
Just fifty years ago it now appears
That fair Etona claimed four hundred years.
Ungallant it had been if one had told her
That _Mr. Punch_ kept young whilst she grew older!
Yet if it is indeed the Fourth Centenary
Or Jubilee the Ninth since holy 'ENERY
Became the founder of a Royal College--
Well, _Mr. Punch_ prefers to have no knowledge.
He only does not know--has never known a
More worthy toast than "_Floreat Etona!_"

* * * * *

THE NEW CRUSADERS.

["Kaiser Wilhelm, according to a Berlin Journal, has given his
consent to a lottery being instituted throughout the Empire
'for combating the slave trade in Africa.' Tickets to the
amount of eight millions of marks wi