At first some doubt as to truth of story. Been rumoured often before.
Then comes, in special edition of evening paper, the detail: "The
ceremony being concluded, Mr. and Mrs. PARNELL drove away in the
direction of Bramber, Mrs. PARNELL taking the whip and reins."

"Ah!" said DICK POWER, "that's KITTY, and no mistake. She always takes
the whip and reins. Bet you three to one the trick's done."

SQUIRE of MALWOOD faithful at his post, but he, too, observant of the
Truce. Everyone tired to death of dullest Session ever lived through,
and chiefly anxious to bring it to an end.

_Business done_.--In Committee of Supply.

_Friday_.--In Lords to-night, Irish Land Purchase Bill read Second
Time, after series of essays delivered by half dozen Peers. Point of
honour not to take less than one hour in delivery. DERBY brought
down his contribution nicely written out on quarter sheets. Whilst
ASHBOURNE declaiming, DERBY seized opportunity to read his speech
over to himself. This all very well if he had strictly carried out
intention, but, when he grew so interested in it as to mumble passages
in an audible voice, situation grew embarrassing. At last KIMBERLEY,
who sat near, gently nudged him. "One at a time, my dear DERBY," he
whispered. "We know you're accustomed to dual action. DARBY and JOAN,
you know; but won't do here."

DERBY blushed, and thrust manuscript in pocket till his turn came,
when he had the pleasure of reading it aloud.

_Business done_.--Irish Land Bill through Lords; Public Health Bill in
Commons.

* * * * *

MISS NOMER.

[Illustration: Tree in _Hamlet_.]

Now why was _The Dancing Girl_ ever called _The Dancing Girl_ at
all? As a matter of fact she never did dance, and from last week's
advertisements we find that she has been "running" ever since her
first appearance. Now she's off for another run in the provinces, and
then back again. Quite a theatrical illustration of the sporting term
"running in and out." And when Mr. BEERBOHM TREE is in the provinces
he is to appear as the _Prince of Denmark_.

* * * * *

THE PURCHASE-OFFICERS' GUIDE TO THE ARMY.

(_Arranged in Question and Answer Form._)

_Question_. I may take it that the backbone of the British Army
(especially in the time of peace) are those commissioned warriors who
obtained admission to the Service by paying for their footing?

_Answer_. Indeed you may.

_Q._ And, at the