n the paddles. But it all proved as the labour of
Sisyphus, for the seat was of sadly insufficient dimensions and
adamantine hardihood, and whenever the bicycle-man released his hold,
I instantaneously endured the total upset!

Then again I reproved him for his _Punica fides_, informing him that I
required a machine that would run with smooth progressiveness, precisely
similar to those I beheld in motion around me. To which he replied that
I must not expect to be able to ride _impromptu_ as well as individuals
who had only mastered the accomplishment by long continuity of practice
and industry.

"Oh, man of wily tongue!" I addressed him. "Not thus will you bamboozle
my supposed simplicity! For if the art were indeed so difficult as you
pretend, how should it be acquired by so many timid and delicate
feminines and mere nurselings? This machine of yours is nothing but an
obsolete _hors de combat_ with which it is not humanly possible to work
the oracle!"

At which, waxing with indignation, he leaped upon it, and to my
surprise, did easily propel it in whatsoever direction he pleased, and
its motive power appeared to be similar in every respect to the rest;
so, beguiled by his representations that, under his instructions, I
should speedily become a _chef-d'oeuvre_, I once more suffered myself
to mount the machine; but whether from superabundant energy of my
foot-paddling, or the alarming fact that we were upon the descent of a
precipitous slope, I was soon horrified at finding that my instructor
was stripped out, and I abandoned to the lurch of my Caudine fork!

Oh, my goodness! My heart turns to water at the nude recollection of
such an unparalleled predicament, for the now unrestrained bicycle
_vires acquirit eundo_, and in seven-league boots! While I, wet as a
clout with anxiety and perspiration, did grasp the handles like the
horns of a dilemma, calling out in agonised accents to the
bystanders,--"Help! I am running away with myself! Half a rupee for my
life-preserver!"

But they were all as if to burst with laughter, and none had the
ordinary heroism to intervene, and I with ever increasing rapidity was
borne helplessly down the declivity towards the gates of Hyde Park
Corner, when, by the benevolence of Providence, the anterior wheel ran
under a railing, and I flew off like a tangent into the comparative
security of a mud-barrow!

On my return and solicitous inquiry for my fur-lined overcoat, I had the
furthe