ycle, which is daily increasing its ubiquity, nor do I see the
rationality of engaging a _sais_ in topped boots to attend upon each
machine, under the transparent pretentiousness of its belonging to the
equine genus, since it can never become the similitude of a horse in
mettlesome vivacity.

My companions marvelled greatly at the severe curvature of the
extremities of the cycle-track, which were shaped like the interior of a
huge bowl, and while I was demonstrating to them how, from scientific
considerations and owing to the centrifugal forces of gravitation, it
was not possible for any rider to become a loser of his equilibrium--lo
and behold! two of the competitors made the _facilis descensus_, and
were intermingled in the weltering hotchpot of a calamity.

But on being disentangled they did limp away, and it is allowable to
hope that they suffered no serious dismantling of their vital organs.
Still, I cannot approve of these bicycle contentions, which are
veritable provocative flights at the providential features.

After the termination I conducted my _protegees_ to the Palmarium, where
we sat under a shrub imbibing lemon crushes, brought by a neat-handed
Phyllis in the uniform of a house-maid intermixed with a hospital nurse.

Here occurred a most discomposing _contretemps_, for presently Miss
JESSIMINA uttered the complaint that two strangers were regarding
herself and Miss SPINK with the brazen eyes of a sheep, and even making
personal comments on my nationality, which rendered me like toad under a
harrow with burning indignation.

At length, being utterly beside myself with rage, I summoned one of the
Phyllises and requested her to take steps to abate the nuisance, being
met with a smiling "_Nolo Episcopari_." So, entreating my companions not
to give way to panic and leave their cause in my hands, I went in search
of a policeman.

Unfortunately some time flew before I could find one at liberty to
understand my crucial position, nor could I obtain from him a legal
opinion as to whether I could administer a cuff or a slap in the ear to
my insulters without incurring risk of retaliation in kind.

[Illustration: "WITH A LARGE, STOUT CONSTABLE."]

And, on returning to the spot with a large, stout constable, I had the
mortification to discover that the two impolite strangers had departed,
and that Misses MANKLETOW and SPINK were similarly imperceptible.

However, after prolonged search and mental anxiety, I r