And, though not constitutionally bellicose, I eagerly accepted his
invitation on being assured that I should not be requisitioned to take
part personally in such pugilistic exercises, and should observe same
from a safe distance and coign of vantage, for I am sufficiently a lover
of sportfulness to appreciate highly the sight of courage and science in
third parties.

So he conducted me to the Club-house, and by the open sesame of a ticket
enabled me to penetrate the barrier, after which I followed his wake
downstairs, through rooms full of smoking and conversing sportlovers
mostly in festal attire, to a long and lofty hall with balconies and a
stage at the further end with foliage painted in imitation of a forest,
which was tenanted by press reporters.

The centre of the hall was monopolised by a white square platform
confined by a circumambience of rope, which I was informed was the
veritable theatre of war and cockpit.

Presently two hobbardyhoys made the ascent of this platform with their
attendant myrmidons, and did proceed to remove their trouserings and
coats until they were in the state of nature with the exception of a
loincloth, whereupon the President or Master of the Ceremonies
introduced them and their respective partisans by name to the
assemblage, stating their precise ponderability, and that these juvenile
antagonists were fraternally related by ties of brotherhood.

At which I was revolted, for it is against nature and _contra bonos
mores_ that relations should be egged on into family jars, nor can such
proceedings tend to promote the happiness and domesticity of their home
circle. However, on such occasion when the youths were in danger of
inflicting corporal injuries upon each other, the President called out
"Time" in such reproving tones that they hung their heads in
shamefulness and desisted. And at length they were persuaded into a
pacification, and made the _amende honorable_ by shaking each other by
the hand, whereat I was rejoiced, for, as Poet WATT says, "Birds which
are in little nests should refrain from falling out."

The victory was adjudged to the elder brother--in obedience, I suppose,
to the rule of Primogeniture, for he did not succeed in reducing his
opponent to a _hors de combat_.

Next came a more bustling encounter between Misters BILL HUSBAND and
MYSTERIOUS SMITH, which was protracted to the duration of eight rounds.
I was largely under the impression that Mister HUSBAND was