them,
That a woman who's married to one of them,
Has nothing to learn of the rest of them.

SOMEHOW, JUST AT
THE PSYCHOLOGICAL
MOMENT WHEN A
BACHELOR FANCIES
THAT HE IS GOING TO
DIE FOR LOVE OF A
WOMAN, ANOTHER
WOMAN ALWAYS COMES
ALONG AND INTERRUPTS
HIM

[Illustration: . . . and interrupts him.]

BACHELORS

THE modern bachelor is like a blotting pad; he can soak up all the
sentiment and flattery a woman has to offer him, without ever spilling a
drop.

A confirmed bachelor is so sure of his ability to dodge, that he is
willing to amuse every pretty girl he meets, by handing her a rope and
daring her to catch him.

A bachelor is a large body of egotism, completely surrounded by caution
and fortified at all points by suspicion. His chief products are wild
oats and cynicism; his chief industry is dodging matrimony; his
undeviating policy "Protection!" and his watch-word, "Give me liberty or
give me death!"

The average bachelor is so afraid of falling into matrimony, nowadays,
that he sprinkles the path of love with ashes instead of with roses.

The care with which a bachelor chaperones himself would inspire even the
duenna of a fashionable boarding school with envy.

A bachelor's idea of "safety first" consists in getting tangled up with
a lot of women in order to avoid getting tied up to one.

He is an altruist who refrains from devoting himself to one woman in
order that he may scatter sweetness and light amongst the multitude.

There is nothing quite so intriguing to a bachelor as flirting with the
"_idea of marriage_"--with his fingers crossed. He just loves to
"consider marrying" in the abstract and to go about pitying himself for
being so "lonely."

There are three kinds of bachelors: the kind that must be driven into
matrimony with a whip; the kind that must be coaxed with sugar; and the
kind that must be blindfolded and backed into the shafts.

If you want to be chosen to brighten a bachelor's life, first make it
dark and dreary; so long as women are willing to make his existence one
long sweet song, naturally he isn't anxious to exchange it for a
lullaby.

When a man actually asks a girl to marry him in these days of bachelor
comforts and the deification of single-blessedness, she has a revelation
of human unselfishness that stands as the eighth wonder of the