rter of his life in looking for his shoes.

An "idealist" is a man who is content to worship a woman from afar--and
let some gross, unselfish materialist marry her and support her.

Changing husbands is about as satisfactory as changing a bundle from one
hand to the other; it gives you only temporary relief.

France may claim the happiest marriages in the world, but the happiest
divorces in the world are "made in America."

No doubt, even Solomon told each of his 700 wives that he had merely
_thought_ he loved the others, but that _she_ was the only girl he "ever
really cared for" in just that way.

Love is what makes a man appear blissfully happy, when a woman is
mussing up the precious wisp of hair across his bald spot.

Love is what makes a woman laugh delightedly when a man is telling her
for the second time, a story which she knew by heart before he told it
to her the first time.

All this "sex-antagonism" must have started when Adam brought in the
first rabbit and ordered Eve to make it into Chicken-a-la-King.

When a man takes a notion to marry, he doesn't start following it up--he
merely stops running away.

A woman is young until the light dies out of her last lover's eyes.

Whenever a pretty girl runs her fingers through his hair, a cautious
bachelor can't help thinking of what happened to Samson.

Success in flirtation, as in gambling, consists in "getting out of the
game" at the psychological moment before your luck begins to turn.

Being a husband's "economic equal" may be awfully noble and advanced;
but it usually means being all of his ribs and most of his vertebrae.

Men have been classified as "what women marry." They have two feet, two
hands and sometimes two wives--but never more than one collar-button or
one idea at a time.

When a man says, "Nobody understands me," don't fancy he is suffering.
He is merely trying to let you know, in a modest way, that he is a
profound, fascinating mystery.

A man snatches the first kiss, pleads for the second, demands the third,
takes the fourth, accepts the fifth--and endures all the rest of them.

After two years, an engagement doesn't need to be broken; it just
naturally sags in the middle and comes apart.

Eve had as much choice in the matter of a husband as any other woman.
She merely accepted what fate sent her, and pretended to have gotten her
"ideal."

It is not much comfort to be able to keep your husband's material body
in the house ev