an has lain awake half the night in order to be able to call
her husband in time to catch his train it's rather hard to be hated for
it, just like an alarm clock.

A man expects a woman to laugh at all his jokes, admire all his bon
mots, agree with all his opinions, and be blind to all his faults--and
then he scornfully wonders why women are so "hypocritical."

A diamond and a lump of coal are merely two varieties of carbon; but
they are as different as the two things which the right wife and the
wrong wife can make of the same man.

Sometimes man proposes--and then keeps the girl waiting until the Lord
kindly interposes.

[Illustration]

A WOMAN
FLEES FROM
TEMPTATION,
BUT A MAN
JUST _CRAWLS_
AWAY FROM IT
IN THE CHEERFUL
HOPE
THAT IT MAY
OVERTAKE HIM

[Illustration: A man just crawls away . . .]

WOMAN--AND HER INFINITE VARIETY

(A LEAF FROM ADAM'S DICTIONARY.)

WOMAN--A divine creation for the comfort and amusement of mankind.

RIB--That part of man's self of which he thinks the least and brags the
most.

WIFE (The Inferior Fraction)--The excuse for all a man's sins, the cause
of all his failings, the keeper of his conscience, the guardian of his
digestion, and the repository of his grouches.

BETTER-HALF--The half that is always left at home.

COQUETTE--Any woman who is so unreasonable as not to return a man's
affections.

FLIRT--Any woman, over whom a man has insisted on making a fool of
himself.

OLD MAID--An unmarried woman with more wrinkles than money.

BACHELOR GIRL--An unmarried woman with more money than wrinkles.

KITTEN--Any woman under sixty for whom a man feels a temporary
tenderness.

QUEEN--A pretty woman whom a man has not yet kissed.

"IDEAL"--The particular woman, to whom a man happens to be making love.

CLINGING VINE--A woman who allows her husband to think that he is having
his own way.

HELPMATE--A combination of playmate, soul-mate, and light-running
domestic.

GODDESS--An impossible woman, who exists only in novels and in a man's
imagination.

PARAGON--The kind of woman a man ought to marry, wants to marry, intends
to marry--and never does.

PESSIMISM IS A MAN'S
NATURAL REACTION
AFTER TOO MUCH
OF ANYTHING--WINE,
LOVE, FOOD, FLIRTATION
OR OPTIMISM

MAXIMS OF CLEOPATRA

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