an's, like his pipe, is carefully
cleaned and emptied after each flame has gone out.

A man doesn't ask a girl to "name the day" any more; he merely pleads
guilty to loving her and then closes his eyes while she passes sentence
on him and decide when he shall begin "serving time."

When a woman reforms she bleaches her conscience down to the roots as
she does her hair; a man simply gives his a coat of whitewashing so that
he will have a nice, clean space in which to begin all over again.

When a bachelor sniffs through his letters before opening them in the
morning, it is not a sign that he is looking for dynamite, but that he
is looking for a note bearing a brand of sachet which he has mistaken
for some girl's "sweet personality."

At the awakening from love's young dream the woman's first thought is,
"How can I break his heart?" The man's, "How can I break away?"

A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her imagination,
and then they both speak of it as an affair of "the heart."

No, Clarice, a man's idea of being loved isn't exactly being followed
around with a hot water bottle, a box of pills and the eternal question:
"Do you love me as much as ever?"

One grass widow doesn't make a summer resort--but she can always make it
interesting.

When a man has baggy trousers nowadays it is from falling on his knees
to an automobile--not to a girl.

A black lie always shows up against the dazzling background of truth;
it's all the little white ones a man keeps telling you that can't be
spotted or distinguished from the rest of his conversation.

The only time when a sense of humor profits a woman anything is when she
can laugh at herself for having tried to charm a man by dazzling him
with it.

Most men fall in love with a sudden jolt, and wake up to find that they
are married to an "impulse."

It's a lame love that has to be carried through the honeymoon in a
three-thousand-dollar touring car.

In the mathematics of a bachelor one kiss makes a flirtation, two kisses
make one conquest, three kisses make a love-affair and four kisses make
one tired.

There are "chain-smokers" who light one cigarette from the dying end of
another--and there are also "chain lovers" who light one flame from the
dying embers of another.

Eve had one advantage over all the rest of her sex. In his wildest
moments of rage Adam never could accuse her of being "just like her
_mother_!"

Every woman has a different no