so I sent it in the first thing
next morning.

_Mr. S._ These--ah--supernatural monitions are not vouchsafed to us
without a purpose. It _may_ be "nonsensical."

_Mrs. S._ The only two words _I_ could think of were, "absurd" and
"idiotic," and I'm afraid they haven't much chance.

_Mr. S._ I wouldn't say that, SOPHRONIA. It is not always the most
appropriate epithet that--let me run over the paragraph again--where is
last week's paper? Ah, I have it. (_He procures it and reads with
unction._) "The lark, as has been frequently observed by the poets, is
in the habit of ascending to high altitudes in the exercise of his vocal
functions. Scientific meteorologists, it is true, do not consider that
there is any immediate danger of a descent of the sky, but many
bird-catchers of experience are of opinion that, should such a
contingency happen, the number of these feathered songsters included in
the catastrophe would, in all probability, be simply----" It might be
"idiotic," of course, but I fancy "incalculable," or "appalling" would
be nearer the mark.

_Parmenas._ Too obvious, _I_ should say. If you had adopted a few more
of the words I got from _Roget's Thesaurus_, we should have been safer.
Sending in a word like "disgusting" was sheer waste of one-and-twopence!
And as for POMPILIA, with her synonyms to "sensational," and PRISCILLA,
with her rubbishy superstition, depend upon it, _they_'re no good!

_Pompilia._ You think you know so much, because you've been to London
University--but _we've_ been to a High School; so we're not absolute
_idiots_. PARMENAS!

_Priscilla._ And I'm sure people have dreamt which horse was going to
win a race over and over again!

_Mr. S._ Come, come, let us have none of these unseemly disputes! And,
when you compare a literary competition with--ah--a mere gambling
transaction, PRISCILLA, you do a grave injustice to us all. You forget
that we have, all of us, worked hard for success; we have given our
whole thoughts and time to the subject. I have stayed at home from the
office day after day. Your mother has had no leisure for the cares of
the household; your brother has suspended his studies for his
approaching examination, and your elder sister her labours at the East
End--on purpose to devote our combined intelligence to the subject. And
are we to be told that we are no better than the brainless multitude who
speculate on horse-racing! I am not _angry_, my child, I am
only--(_Enter_ RO