ere about there. You can
get to it best from Mashonaland. Didn't you see that RHODES said he was
going to make a telegraph-line through there? It used to belong to the
SULTAN OF ZANZIBAR. Don't you remember?

_Inquirer._ Of course; so it did.

[_Train draws up at Terminus._

* * * * *

[Illustration: A SALVE FOR THE CONSCIENCE.

_Vegetarian Professor._ "NO, MADAM, NOT EVEN FISH. I CANNOT SANCTION THE
DESTRUCTION OF LIFE. THESE LITTLE ANIMALS, FOR INSTANCE, WERE BUT
YESTERDAY SWIMMING HAPPILY IN THE SEA."

_Mrs. O'Laughlan._ "OH BUT, PROFESSOR, JUST THINK IT'S THE FIRST TIME
THE POOR LITTLE THINGS HAVE EVER BEEN REALLY WARM IN THEIR LIVES!"]

* * * * *

"'TWAS WHISPERED IN HEAVEN, 'TWAS MUTTERED IN H----." _A propos_ of the
much-discussed article written by Dr. ST. GEORGE MIVART in _The
Nineteenth Century_, on "Happiness in Hell."--begging pardon for
uttering a word "unmentionable to ears polite,"--our old friend 'ARRY
writes thusly:--"Sir,--We 'ave all of us been familiar for years with
the well-known 'Mivart's 'Otel.' If the clever Professor is correct,
this name ought to be changed, as there ain't no such a place; and, in
future, when alluded to, it ought to be called _Mivart's Cool 'el._ Am I
right?

"Yours truly, THE 'ARRY OPAGITE."

* * * * *

In "Lucky Shoes," baskets, and in other dainty trifles, does RIMMEL
arrange his beautiful bottles of scent. RIMMEL is not a Head Centre,
but our Chief Scenter, "and," exclaims Mr. WAGSTAFF, the Unabashed,
"what a great day will be his Scentenary!"

* * * * *

"THE SILENT BATTLE."--See this charming piece at the Criterion. Of
course it is brought out by Mr. CHARLES WYNDHAM in illustration of
the old proverb, "_Acts, not words._"

* * * * *

[Illustration: HAPPY AND NOVEL COMBINATION! THE HARMONIOUS CHRISTMAS
"PARTY."]

* * * * *

CHOOSING CHRISTMAS TOYS.

(_A Sketch in the Lowther Arcade._)

_Between the sloping banks of toys, and under a dense foliage of
coloured rosettes, calico banners, and Japanese-lanterns, the congested
Stream of Custom oozes slowly along, with an occasional overflow into
the backwaters of the shops behind, while the Stall-keepers keep up a
batrachian and almost automatic croak of invitation._

_Fond Grandmother