fluence" is. I've read a lot about
it lately, but I can't quite make it out.

_Second W. I. M._ (_condescendingly_). Yes, I know it's deuced difficult
to keep up with these new notions, unless you're in the way of hearing
all about them. Spheres of influence mean--well, don't you know, they
mean some country that's not quite yours, but it's more yours than
anybody else's, and if anybody else comes into it, you're allowed to
make a protocol of it. Besides, it gives you a right to the Hinterland,
you know.

_Inquirer_ (_dubiously_). Ah, I see. What's the Hinterland?

_Second W. I. M._ (_stumped_). I fancy it's about the most fertile part
of Africa. (_To First W. I. M._) Isn't it?

_First W. I. M._ Yes, that's it. It's the German for Highlands.

_Inquirer._ Of course, so it is. I might have thought of that.

_Average Man_ (_to First W. I. M._). Seems to me you've none of you got
hold of the right point. What I want to know is, does Uganda pay? LUGARD
says it don't; the Company hasn't made anything of it, and they've got
to go whether they like it or not; though I daresay they're deuced glad
to be out of the hole. But, if it don't pay, what on earth are we going
to do with it?

_Second W I. M._ (_triumphantly reinforcing him_). Yes, what on earth
are we to do with it?

_First W. I. M._ (_calmly, but contemptuously_). Ah! I see you're both
little-England men. From your point of view, I daresay you're right
enough. But I'm one of those who believe that we must stick on wherever
we've planted the flag. I agree with MOLTKE, that the nation that gives
up is in a state of decay.

_Second W. I. M._ It wasn't MOLTKE who said that; it was VICTOR HUGO, or
(_after a pause_) Lord PALMERSTON.

_First W. I. M._ Well, it doesn't matter who said it. The point is, it's
true. Besides, what are you going to do about the slaves and the
Missionaries?

_Average Man._ Oh, bother the Missionaries!

_First W. I. M._ It's all very well to say "bother the Missionaries!"
but that won't get you any further. They're our fellow-creatures after
all, and what's more, they're our fellow-countrymen, so we've got to
look after them.

_Average Man._ I should let the whole lot of Missionaries fight it out
together. They only keep quarrelling amongst themselves, and trying to
bag one another's converts; and then France and England get involved.

_Inquirer._ By the way, where is Uganda, exactly?

_First W. I. M._ Just behind Zanzibar--or somewh