lves, I
have already more than paid for expenses of my trip by my winnings at
the Tables. No time for more just now. Must back the red!"

_Reply to above from Pythias._--"Very sorry to hear you have been
playing at the Tables. Sure to end in ruin. By the bye, what system do
you use? The subject interests me merely as a mathematical problem, of
course. Wish _I_ could pay expenses of my Devonshire hotel so easily.
But then one ought to have _some_ reward for visiting such a dreary
place as the Riviera, with its Mistrals, and diseased olive-trees, and
all that."

_Latest from Damon._--"Since writing my last letter, my views of the
Riviera have altered. The climate, I find, does not suit me. Sun doesn't
shine as much as I expected--not at night, for instance. Then the
existence of an olive disease anywhere near is naturally very
_degoutant_ (as they say here). And the Casino at Monte Carlo is simply
an organised swindle. It ought to be put down! After staking ten times
in succession on "Zero," and doubling my stake each time, I was
absolutely cleared out! Only just enough money to take me home. Shall
follow your example, and try Torquay for the rest of the winter."

_Latest from Pythias._--"Just a hasty line to say--_don't_ come to
Torquay! I am leaving it. Since I last wrote, my views of Devonshire
have also altered. Can't conceal from myself that the climate is a
mistake. Damp, dull, and depressing. Your account of Monte Carlo--_not_
the Casino, of course--so enchanting, that I've determined to try it.
Just off to London to catch '_train de luxe!_'"

* * * * *

THE MISSING WORD.

(_By a much-badgered Barmaid._)

Each boobyish bar-lounger calls me "dear,"
And "Misses" me in manner most absurd.
I should not miss _him_! But the boss, I fear,
Would miss his custom; so I still must hear
His odious "Miss-ing" word!
But oh! I'd sooner bear a monkey's kisses,
Than some of these cheap mashers' mincing
"Misses"!
And there is one young ape!--I'd stand "two d"
Could I hit him each time he "Misses" me!

* * * * *

QUEER QUERIES.

[Illustration: Notes]

AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL.--I should be glad to know whether it would be
advisable for me to write a book of "Reminiscences," as I see is now the
fashion. My life has been chiefly passed in a moorland-village in
Yorkshire, so that it has not been very eventful, and I have never
written anyt