herwise Mr. ALBERT CHEVALIER, of
French extraction, would find an excellent Italian alias, closely
associated with the operatic and musical professions, and most
appropriate to the line he has adopted, in the name of "SIGNOR COSTA."
The melody of Mr. CHEVALIER's "_Coster's Serenade_," of which, I
rather think, he is the composer as well as librettist, is as charming
as it is strikingly original. After the _Chevalier sans peur et sans
approche_ had retired, clever and sprightly Miss JENNY HILL gave as
a taste of lodging-house-keeperism, following whom came the Two MACS
belabouring each other in their old hopelessly idiotic, but always
utterly irresistible style; and then Lieutenant W. COLE--King COLE
we "crowned him long ago"--gave his ventriloquial entertainment, who,
with his troop of talking dolls, should have his address at Dollis
Hill. There were many "turns" yet to follow when we left, at a
comparatively early hour; "and so," to quote old PEPYS, "home with
much content."

* * * * *

"TO HAVE AND TO HOLD."

Big promises and Party scoldings
Won't cure "Small Savings" by "Small Holdings."

* * * * *

THE MARVELS OF MODERN SCIENCE.

SCENE--_Interior of Small Box containing telephone with book
of addresses. Enter hurriedly_ Impatient Subscriber.

_Impatient Subscriber_ (_turning over leaves of address-book_).
Of course I can't find it! Ah! here it is! 142086. (_Rings bell
of telephone, and listens with receivers to his ear._) Now I have
forgotten it! (_Puts back receivers on rests, and refers again to
book. Telephone bell rings in answer. He hurries back and calls._)
One hundred and forty-two nought eighty-six.

_First Voice_ (_from telephone_). One hundred and forty-two?

_Imp. Sub._ Yes, and nought eighty-six.

_First Voice_. Which do you want?

_Imp. Sub._ Why, both.

_First Voice_. You can't. Must have one at a time.

_Imp. Sub._ It's only one. One four two nought eight six.

_First Voice_. One four two nought eight six?

_Imp. Sub._ Yes, please. One four two nought eight six.

_First Voice_. Very well. Why didn't you give the number before?

_Imp. Sub._ (_angrily_). Well, I have given it now. (_He listens
intently, exclaiming now and again_, "_Are you there_?" _and then
rings_.) One four two nought eight six, please.

_First Voice_ (_after a pause_). What!

_Imp. Sub._ One four two nought eight six, please.

[Illust