hension amongst the audience._) _Sir J._ "Certainly, go
into yonder apartment, and await me there." (_Sigh of relief from
spectators_.) _A Footman._ "Sir, the guests wait!" _Sir J._ (_with
lordly ease_). "Bid them enter!" (_They troop in unannounced and
sit down against the wall, entertaining one another in dumb-show._)
_Footman_ (_re-entering_). "Sir, a roughly-dressed stranger, who says
he knew you in Norway, under an _alias_, requests a few words." _Sir
J._ "Confusion!--one of my former accomplices in crime--my guests
must not be present at this interview!" (_To Guests._) "Ladies and
Gentlemen, will you step into the adjoining room for a few minutes,
and examine my collection of war-weapons?" (_Guests retire, with
amiable anticipations of enjoyment. The Stranger enters, and tells
another long story._) "I smile still," he concludes--"but even a
_dead_ man's skull will smile. Allow me then the privileges of death!"
(_At this an irreverent Pittite suddenly guffaws, and the Audience
from that moment perceives that the piece possesses a humorous side.
The Stranger goes; the Guests return. Re-enter Footman_). "Sir, an
elderly man, who was acquainted with your family years ago, insists
on seeing you, and will take no denial!" _Villain_ (_with presence
of mind--to Guests._) "Ladies and Gentlemen, will you step into the
neighbouring apartment, and join the dancers?" (_The Guests obey. The_
Elderly Man _enters, and denounces_ JASPER, _who mendaciously declares
that he is his own second cousin_ JOSEPH; _whereupon the visitor
turns down his coat-collar, and takes off a false beard._) "Do you
know me now, JASPER SHOPPUN?" he cries. "_I_ am JOSEPH--your second
cousin!"... "What, ho, Sir Insolence!" the Villain retorts. "And so
you come to deliver me to Justice?"... "Not so," says JOSEPH. "Long
years ago I swore to my dying Aunt to protect your reputation, even
at the expense of my own. I come to warn you that"--&c., &c. (_The
Audience, who are now in excellent spirits, receive every incident
with uncontrollable merriment till the end of the Act. Another long
wait, enlivened by a piccolo solo._)

_Author._ LAVINIA, it's _too_ disgraceful--it's a deliberate
conspiracy to turn the piece into ridicule. I never thought my _own
relations_ would turn against me--and yet I might have known!

_Comp._ It wasn't the _play_ they laughed at, dear--that's lovely--but
it's so ridiculously _acted_, you know!

_Author._ Of course the acting _is