the uses of--the Guinea Pig!
Dull, but respectable and decorative,
That tribe, to whom credulity is native.
They'll sit around our Board in solemn row,
And never, never 'want to know, you know,'
Beyond convenient limits. Their proud presence
Will fill our flock with faith; their acquiescence,
So readily secured by liberal fees,
Will make the mob accept our schemes with ease.
Behold them! They will give us little trouble
By wanting--well, to analyse the Bubble;
So they get something for themselves more solid,
They'll sit serene and stolid
In titled sloth and coronetted slumber.
I can secure them, friends, in any number;
For Guinea Pigs are numerous and prolific
And as decoys their influence is mirific.
So whilst we work our Bubble-blowing rigs,
Hurrah, for Guinea Pigs!
They'll take our fees, assent to our suggestions,
And ask no awkward questions."

MORAL.

The rank's the guinea's stamp, says Scotland's ROB,
But if you want to bubble, juggle, job,
You'll find, with Vulpus, the Promoter big,
Rank is the stamp of the true Guinea Pig!

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE NEW CHIMNEY.

_Mike._ "FAITH, TIM, YE HAVEN'T GOT UT STRAIGHT AT ALL! IT LANES OVER
TO THE ROIGHT!"

_Tim._ "OH, YE'RE WRONG. IT'S PLUMB EX-HACT! IT'S MYSELF THAT PLUMBED
UT MOSHT CAREFUL. INDADE, IF UT HAS A FAULT, IT LANES OVER AN INCH OR
TEW TO THE LEFT, WHEN YE LOOK AT UT FROM BEHOIND!!"]

* * * * *

THE POOR MAN AND HIS BEER.

[Mr. CHAMBERLAIN, at Birmingham, said, "We know that the
Government propose to deprive the working classes of their
beer." ("_Shame!_" _and a Voice_, "_They don't!_")]

"ROB the poor Workman of his glass of beer!!!"
And can that clap-trap, then, still raise a cheer?
The British Workman has a thirsty throat,
The British Workman also has a Vote,
One will protect the other--if it cares to.
But if he'd close, by vote, the shops such snares to
His tipple-tempted and intemperate throttle
He robs _himself_ of access to the bottle,--
If robbery it's called--'tis not another,
(Who is a swell, with cellars) his poor brother
Deprives of that long-hackneyed, much-mouthed "glass."
The British Workman is not quite an ass,
And where he wants to whet (with beer) his throat,
Where are you like to get your two-thirds Vote?
Whether there's wisdom in this vaunted Ve