to,
Is quite another question sense must see to.
And general justice judge. But those who cheer
The stale old fudge about the Poor Man's Beer,
Should learn it is a dodge of vested pelf,
And, rich or poor, a man can't rob himself.
It is the poor who suffer from temptation,
And drink's detestable adulteration,
That crying ill which no one dares to tackle!
Whilst Witlers howl, and Water-zealots cackle.
The poor are poisoned, not by honest drink,
But lethal stuff that might scour out a sink.
The Poor Man's Beer, quotha! Who'll keep it _pure?_
Not rich monopolists, nor prigs demure,
Those shriek for freedom, these for prohibition,
"Vend the drugged stuff sans scrutiny or condition!"
Cries Vested Interest. "Close, by law or Vote,
The Witler's tavern and the Workman's throat!"
Shouts the fanatic. Which, then, fad or pelf,
Cares really, solely, for the Poor Man's self?
Nay; the Monopolist fights for his money,
The Monomaniac for his craze. How funny
To hear one shout for _freedom_, t'other cheer
The poisoner's cant about the Poor Man's Beer!

* * * * *

WHY is it evident that Mr. ARTHUR BALFOUR didn't know much of Ireland
until last Monday week, April 3? Because 'twas then he went to Larne.

* * * * *

OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.

Statesmen, Historians, and such, may think that, between the years
1871 and 1876, "the Egyptian Question" turned upon the extravagance of
ISMAIL PASHA, and the financial complications that followed thereupon.
Readers of the _Recollections of an Egyptian Princess_ (BLACKWOOD)
will know better. The real Egyptian Question of that epoch was,
whether the English Governess of the Khedive's daughter should get her
mistress's carriage at the very hour she wanted it; whether she should
have the best rooms in any palace or hotel she might chance to be
located in; and whether she should have her meals served at the time
and in the fashion she had been accustomed to in the family mansion
at Clapton or Camberwell. Many stirring passages in the book deal with
these and cognate matters. None delights my Baronite more than one
in which a driver named HASSAN figures. HASSAN, ordered for eight
o'clock, sometimes came at nine. Occasionally at six. "He asked for
'backseesh,' which" Miss CHENNELLS writes, "I did not consider myself
bound to give, as he never did anything for me." On two occasions,
her heart w