advice and cheerful help. He is still acting.
Anybody who wishes can see him on any night, helping to troll forth
the chorus of a song of Mexican warriors in the great spectacular
drama of _Montezuma_. There is no more perfectly-satisfied being in
existence. On that I am prepared to stake my life. Let this tale then
be a warning to those who are over-hasty to construct romances of
pathetic contrast on an insufficient foundation. One hugs such stories
to one's heart, and it is something of a wrench to have to give them
up in the light of a fuller knowledge.

And here I am, having all but reached the limits of my appointed
space, without apparently having gone one step nearer to the
fulfilment of the task on which I set out. I can only ask you to
take the will for the deed in the meantime. And after all, if this
unambitious actor had only been what I imagined him to be, I could not
have produced an apter example. But he had the impertinence to live
his life in his own way, and that did not happen to accord with the
theories I had been led to form about it. Shall I never be able to
come to the point? I have not yet given up all hope?

Yours as usual,

D. R.

* * * * *

THE UNIVERSAL VENT.

(_For Vacuity, Vanity, Verbosity, Virulence, and Venom._)

IF you've been burning the midnight taper,
And of new policies deem yourself shaper;
If at the world you're a green-gosling gaper,
Or of old "JUNIUS," juvenile aper;
Bumptious Scotch Duke, or irate Irish Draper,
Crammed with conceit, which must publicly caper;
Angry old woman, or frivolous japer;
Thraso or termagant, Tadpole or Taper,
To blow off your steam, or your gas, or your vapour,
There's one fool-loved fashion--'tis _write to the paper!_

* * * * *

"I AM in a state of suspense," said a Clergyman. "I am sorry to hear
it," replied his friend. "Why are you suspended?"

[Illustration: PROPER PRIDE.

_He._ "WASN'T THAT THE COUNTESS OF MOHAIR THAT JUST WENT BY? I THOUGHT
YOU TOLD ME SHE WAS A FRIEND OF YOURS!"

_She._ "OH, WE MEET OCCASIONALLY, AND ALL THAT,--BUT I'VE REALLY BEEN
OBLIGED TO _DROP_ LADY MOHAIR, I'M SORRY TO SAY!"

_He._ "DEAR ME,--REALLY! WHAT FOR?"

_She._ "OH, WELL,--SHE ALWAYS DELIBERATELY TURNS HER BACK ON ME WHEN I
TRY TO SPEAK TO HER, AND LOOKS ANOTHER WAY WHEN I BOW, OR ELSE COOLLY
STARES ME IN THE FACE AND TAKES NO NOTICE WHATEVER,--SO NOW I MAKE