POLICEMAN (_to Germany Militant_). "ARE YOU
GOING TO TAKE THAT STUFF OFF OR MUST I DO IT FOR YOU?"]

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Cafe Genius._ "THE FACT IS WE MAKE
OURSELVES TOO CHEAP. OF COURSE THE PUBLIC PAYS TO SEE
OUR PICTURES, BUT THE BLIGHTERS CAN COME AND SEE US FOR
NOTHING."]

* * * * *

"The weather of the week has been characteristic of the
month. A dawn breaks with a fair sunset."--_Scotch
Paper._

Of course this happens only very far North.

* * * * *

SAFETY PLAY.

(_According to local legend, Whitby Abbey possesses a ghost which only
appears in a blaze of sunshine_).

MEN there may be so immune from timidity
Never a spectre could fill them with fright,
Men who could keep their accustomed placidity
Were they to meet in the gloom of the night
Lady Hermione tramping the corridor,
Wicked Sir Guy with his fetters adrag,
Or a plebeian who shrieked something horrid or
Carried his head in a vanity bag.

Not such am I. Every hair at the vertical,
I should resort to hysterical screams
Did a diaphanous Lady (or Sir) tickle
Me on the cheek in the midst of my dreams;
Yet when, at Yule, I hear people converse on all
Manner of spooks round the log in the grate,
Often I wish that I too had a personal
Psychic experience I could relate.

I am a coward when midnight looms murkily,
But when the sunlight of noon's at its best
I could face calmly--I'd even say perkily--
Nebulous figures as well as the rest;
So I'll to Whitby, and (on the hypothesis
That she'll obligingly come to me there)
Wait in its abbey (see text). By my troth, this is
Just such a ghost as I'm ready to dare.

* * * * *

MASCULINE MODES.

BY BEAU BRUMMEL.

THE news that the price of lounge suits will have risen to twenty-four
pounds by the autumn has created something of a sartorial panic in the
City and the West End.

Famous old wardrobes are being broken up on all sides by owners anxious
to acquire fresh clothing before it is too late, whilst the small
properties thus created find eager tenants amongst those who cannot
afford a new outfit at all.

Many tailors who have built new suits are beginning to dispose of them
on three or five year repairing leases,