of china (though I love it),
To coloured prints no more my fancy roams,
Or all the works of art I used to covet
In other people's homes.

Old first editions, Sheffield plate and brasses,
Weapons of CROMWELL'S time and coats of mail,
Gate-tables, QUEEN ANNE chairs and aught that passes
For craft of CHIPPENDALE--

Such things no more I spend my hard-earned cash on
(Fain though the spirit be, the purse is weak);
Yet strong within me burns the ruling passion
For anything antique.

To haunt the sales for "finds" no more my job is;
I've found at length, to satisfy my bent,
A wider sphere for this my last of hobbies,
Which costs me not a cent;

Where I can see my friends possess the treasure
Their souls desire, nor envy them for that;
My game's to scan my fellow-man at leisure
Divested of his hat;

Among my own coevals, whom at last Time
Is taking by the locks at forty-nine,
Searching (a quaint but inexpensive pastime)
For balder heads than mine.

* * * * *

HINTS ON ADVERTISING.

IN the belief that the numerous signs and notices, such as those
containing warnings and advice to the public, with which the eye is so
familiar, might be employed as suitable _media_ for commercial
advertisement, the following suggestions are offered for what they are
worth:--

=LIFT NOT WORKING.=

When you walk upstairs
be sure your boots are
shod with PUSSYFOOT
Rubber Heels.

* * *

=TO STOP THE TRAIN PULL
DOWN THE CORD.=

Then light a NAVY LIST Cigarette.

That alone is worth the L5.

* * *

=STICK NO BILLS.=

It's not your job.

Let STIKKOTINE do it.

Sticks anything.

* * *

=THIS RACK IS PROVIDED FOR
LIGHT ARTICLES ONLY.=

If your baby is a GLOXO baby
keep it on your knee.

GLOXO builds _bulky_ bairns.

* * *

=KEEP OFF THE GRASS.=

Unless you are wearing
GUMBOODLE'S
Goloshes.
Won't wet feet.

* * *

=BEWARE OF THE DOG.=

Wait till he hears
HIS MASTER'S VOICE.

* * *

=YOU MAY TELEPHONE FROM HERE.=

Ring up your newsagent and order
your DAILY WAIL.

Billion Sale.
Order it now.
CHU CHIN CHOW.

* * * * *

"C