Chambers are barristers who have not got
proper legal faces, and have had to give up being ordinary barristers on
that account; in the obscurity and excitement of the Bear-Garden nobody
notices that their faces are all wrong. The two chief bears rush at the
Master and the other bears jostle round them, egging them on. When they
see that they cannot get at the Master they begin snarling. One of them
snarls quietly out of a long document about the Statement of Claim. He
throws a copy of this at the Master, and the Master tries to get the
hang of it while the bear is snarling; but the other bear is by now
beside himself with rage, and he begins putting in what are called
interlocutory snarls, so that the Master gets terribly confused, though
he doesn't let on.

By-and-by all pretence of formality and order is put aside and the
battle really begins. At this stage of the proceedings the rule is that
no fewer than two of the protagonists must be roaring at the same time,
of which one must be the Master. But the more general practice is for
all three of them to roar at the same time. Sometimes, it is true, by
sheer roar-power the Master succeeds in silencing one of the bears for a
moment, but he can never be said to succeed in cowing a bear. If anybody
is cowed it is the Master. Meanwhile the lesser bears press closer and
closer, pulling at the damp ends of their rainy moustaches and making
whispered suggestions for new devilries in the ears of the chief bears,
who nod their heads emphatically but don't pay any attention.

The final stage is the stage of physical violence, when the chief bears
lean over the barricade and shake their paws at the Master; they think
they are only making legal gestures, but the Master knows very well that
they are getting out of hand; he knows then that it is time he threw
them a bun. So he says a soothing word to each of them and runs his pen
savagely through almost everything on their papers. The bears growl in
stupefaction and rage, and take deep breaths to begin again. But
meanwhile the keeper has shouted for a fresh set of bears, who surge
wildly into the room. The old bears are swept aside and creep out,
grunting. What the result of it all is I don't know. Nobody knows. But
the new bears----

[EDITOR.--I am much bored with this.

AUTHOR.--Oh, very well.]

A. P. H.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Mistress._ "AT TWO O'CLOCK THIS MORNING,